“These are kids who will never pay taxes. They’ll never hold a job. They’ll never play baseball. They’ll never write a poem. They’ll never go out on a date. Many of them will never use a toilet unassisted.” Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
I want to state from the outset: I don’t hate RFK Jr. I respect and love him as a fellow human walking this earth, despite disagreeing on several key issues. Quotes like these are particularly damaging. They embody the ableism and fear that permeate modern American culture.
The problem with this perspective is that it ignores the fundamental truth that every person with a disability has their own unique journey, their own growth process, their own setbacks, and their own successes.
So often, people with disabilities are lumped into boxes by a system that refuses to let them out. We are treated as if our lives are a “nice, comfortable jail cell.” We don’t realize that the door is a cell door until it gets slammed in our faces—and by then, it’s too late to get out.
RFK Jr.’s comments about dating are a prime example of the dehumanization we face. Just because someone may be non-verbal or have different physical needs does not mean they are unable to consent to or enjoy a loving, caring relationship. There are plenty of non-verbal individuals who have had rich, complex romantic lives—some of them having had more sexual encounters than I will ever have!
Society often measures our value by our productivity—by whether we pay taxes or hold a traditional job. With the new “Home and Community Based services HCBS” cuts coming to the nation in October 2026, many of us will be forced to choose between our health insurance and our ability to work.
We are forced to disclose our limitations and decide: Do we stay in poverty to keep our benefits, or do we risk it to earn a little bit of money? It is these societal norms that are damaging us, not our wants or our wills. We want to work—we want to work harder than most other Americans. We just need the real opportunities to do so.
Quotes like these don’t help anyone; they just hurt. If you want to help someone with a disability, don’t look for what you think they “can’t” do. Make them stronger, and they will make you better.
Don’t be afraid of us. Thrive with us. Push us. Educate us—because we can educate you in the same way. Together, we can learn from each other. That is what a good society does. That is what a good America does.
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