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Tag: disability blogger
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Broken Wheelchairs & Smiles
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Gratitude V. Complaining
Happy Thursday friends. I’ve had a very troubling week. I know today is Thursday but since my podcast was released on the 15th which fell on a Wednesday I decided to push this back a day Have you ever woken up feeling like everything’s just wrong? Like the whole world’s against you? It’s something we all feel sometimes. But have you ever stopped to wonder why? Is it because the world’s just messed up, or is there something about us that needs fixing?
I’ve always been someone who sees the bright side of things. Even when it seems like everyone’s complaining about what they don’t have, I try to focus on what’s good. Sure, there’s a lot of bad stuff out there—violence, discrimination, you name it. But that’s not what I want to talk about.
What bugs me is how we complain about every little thing just because our lives aren’t perfect. In this post, I want to compare some common complaints with my own experiences. Not to moan and groan, but to show that even when life’s tough, there’s still plenty to be thankful for.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV [18] give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Let’s start with feeling tired. We’ve all been there, right? Wanting to stay in bed a little longer. But for me, getting out of bed isn’t so simple. Every morning, I need someone to help me, which makes me see tiredness in a whole new light.
Then there’s the whole job situation. Feeling like you’re not making enough money, hating your job—sound familiar? It’s something I’ve felt too. But for me, the biggest challenge isn’t my disability—it’s the money struggles that come with it. The day I get my first paycheck? It’s gonna be a big deal, let me tell you.
And traffic? Don’t even get me started. As someone who can’t drive because of my disability, I rely on public transport. And let me tell you, it’s not always smooth sailing. What might be a quick trip for someone else can turn into an all-day ordeal for me.
I could go on and on, but you get the idea. We need to stop taking things for granted and start appreciating what we have. As they say, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure. Instead of always wanting more, let’s learn to be happy with what we’ve got. So, I hope reading this makes you see things a little differently. Thanks for reading, and feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
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The Voice
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Passing the Baton
My legs were burning when I went to bed the other night, but I was content despite having a sore back. I was on my laptop or tablet from 11:00 in the morning until 11:30 at night. My brother asked several times, “Are you done yet? Where is your finish line? Something has to be said so someone else can finish the job that people before me started. I must issue a favorable warning before continuing. I might make some unjust comparisons in the course of this writing. It is not to offend anyone; it is simply an illustration point.
Philippians 3:13-14 NIV “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
The work I do to advocate for those with disabilities is not for me; it’s for someone in the next generation. So they don’t have to fear society and not be seen as equal by their peers, whether they have a disability or not. People don’t want to admit this, but there are people out there who want people with disabilities dead after a certain age. After they stop being cute, we need a social movement to make it okay for people with disabilities to live and thrive in their communities. Home and Community-Based Services (HCBS) is a great concept and it will lead to system change eventually. Parents of a disabled child should never have to fear the day they can no longer be there for their child. Working with those who are the most vulnerable cannot be seen as a dead-end job. It needs to be seen as a fulfilling career. To use an antiquated term, this has to stop being ‘pink-collar work.’
Speaking of work, those of us who should be working should be offered better jobs than greeters at Walmart or in the back of a restaurant washing dishes. Do our hands have to shake when we hand our resumes to a potential employer? The first concern of an employer should never be, “How much is it going to cost to accommodate you to work here? We have to stop being inspirational just for going to college. I know so many individuals who have finished their college degree but cannot find meaningful employment because they need their health benefits.
FDR "In these days of difficulty, we Americans everywhere must and shall choose the path of social justice—the path of faith, the path of hope, and the path of love toward our fellow man."
The LGBTQ+ community fought for several years to have marriage equality. I am sorry to say this but we still don’t have marriage equality because people with disabilities are still penalized for wanting to get married. I feel like there is a false illusion that if people with disabilities had children, it would be more of a burden on our society to take care of them. Most disabled parents are more loving and caring than able-bodied parents. Yes, they will need more support but that means more jobs and more opportunities for people to see us as part of their local communities. People like me who look different should not be ashamed to be on a dating app. People don’t understand what it’s like to be afraid to talk to a pretty girl. Imagine what it would be like not being able to talk at all to that same girl.
People with disabilities are currently in financial and social slavery! Brad Lomax and Judith Heumann did their part. A generation later, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was a gigantic step forward. As a community, we need to come together and stop letting society divide us.
I will continue to work with the system so that one day someone can either emotionally, mentally, or physically stand up for others. I’m proud to be a nobody. My name will not go down in history books. I work so that one day someone can get married without fear. I work so a mother will not have to cry when they have to hand over the care of their child to someone else. I work so that one day someone you know using a wheelchair will not be seen as an inspiration when they are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. This may not make sense to a lot of people, but one day it will.
Disability does not care what color you are on the outside. Your sexual orientation is of no consequence. Your political views are irrelevant to people with disabilities. The disability is just part of the person, not the whole person. I know I said all this before on other blogs. I probably sound like a broken record. I’ve never asked my small audience for anything, but I asked that you please share this with someone who has no concept of disability. To someone who thinks we are less than. We are not lost. We are the ones who are strong because we value life, cherish our blessings, and take advantage of the opportunities we’ve been given. We might be broken on the outside, but some are even broken on the inside. we understand that our lives have meaning. Sometimes it’s better to have a life of struggle with a great ending than to have a life without knowing or wanting the destination because you’re searching for the illusion of perfection.
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A “what If” Game
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The Faith Choice
I know today is Thursday. My blogs usually come out on Wednesdays but since the first of the month falls on a Wednesday, my podcast is automatically released on the first and 15th of every month I decided to push this one back a day.
Hebrews 11:1 NIV Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Ever heard the saying, ‘Seeing isn’t believing; believing is seeing’? It’s from the movie ‘The Santa Clause.’ While the movie is just okay, that one line always sticks with me. I hope you’re all having a safe and happy week. I’m writing this on Good Friday, though you’ll read it later. I tend to write ahead of time, so that’s why.
Now, I don’t consider myself super religious, but I do believe in something bigger than us. Once, someone asked me how I could believe in God. My answer? ‘I couldn’t imagine life without Him.’ It’s kind of scary to talk about this sometimes; I never want to offend anyone. But talking about faith seems to stir up trouble these days, which is too bad. Here’s what I think: faith isn’t supposed to be easy. We all find our own way, no matter what we believe in. Disability has affected every part of my life, including my faith journey.
We’re often told that hard work pays off. Well, let me tell you, I’ve tried to go to college three times, and each time, life got in the way. From having a good GPA and making the Dean’s List to starting over because my credits didn’t transfer – it was tough. But years later, when I did my first interview for a state disability magazine, I finally saw the impact of my efforts. We get so caught up in everyday stuff that we forget to look at the big picture sometimes.
Sure, I get asked the same questions over and over again, but that’s how change happens – one person at a time. Not everyone will get you; some people just don’t understand. I’ve had people literally run away from me when I try to talk to them. The world can be a tough place. But for every person who doesn’t understand, there are three others who want to listen and see you for who you are. Faith, to me, is about choosing to see the good in people before anything else.
I’m not some religious leader or anything like that. I don’t go to church as much as I probably should, and I swear more than I should, too. But nothing hurts more than realizing I’m asking for help when I see my caregiver is tired. There are days when I’d give anything to walk again. But when I think about the impact one person can have, I’m reminded that maybe there’s a plan for all of us, even in tough times.
So, here’s to facing life’s challenges with faith as our guide, believing that there’s a purpose behind everything, even when things seem really hard.”
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A Day in the Life
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The why of my life
The other day I was asked, “Why do you choose to volunteer and advocate for others instead of looking for a paid job?” this is very simple yet complex question, at least for me. It made my heart so joyful to answer this question. I wish I could tell you I remember exactly what I said, but now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I want to give the real answer. I didn’t lie to the person who gave me the interview; I just didn’t go into a lot of detail.
The short answer is that I cannot get paid because I would lose my social security, which I need to live In addition, I am the vice chair of the New Jersey Council on Developmental Disabilities, and according to the bylaws, we are not allowed to make a profit from this position. The same goes for my position with SABE, a national advocacy board for individuals with disabilities. My days are long, but I could not be any happier.
People will never understand this, but my disability is not a curse or punishment from God. It is a platform to be the voice for others who have no one to fight for them. The other day, I had to meet with a congressman’s staff. They made me sit at the head of the table because someone else mentioned,’ Kevin had to go first; he is the rock star. I quickly corrected that I was just a nobody. I could not believe what I was doing. That night, I went to bed with tears in my eyes and a full heart.
Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV [8] For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— [9] not by works, so that no one can boast.
A Disability advocates do not get a lot of women. I do not look good on dating apps. The most money I’ve made was a gift card for doing something unofficial for a colleague. My body always hurts at the end of the day it can be lonely because most of the time I’m the only disabled person in the room. Sometimes I do feel the weight of a community on my shoulders. When I have these moments I look to my Bible. I don’t have any weight on me because someone else is holding up for me. I’m just a tool. Do I deserve to be this tool?
No, I don’t. I don’t deserve any blessings. I’m sure I have days when I’ll complain. at the end of each day, I remembered to be grateful because I Was chosen to do the work of my big brother Jesus. That is wonderful! Friends, don’t get so caught up with your narrow view of the world that you forget to look at the big picture. There’s always someone that needs help. Make sure you do your part. Thanks for your time see you next week.
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Something in my Heart
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