Tag: stories of faith

  • The  2023 seeds of faith

    The 2023 seeds of faith

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    Hello wonderful friends. I hope everyone had a fantastic start to the new year. I know some people probably did not. To those folks, I hope these words provide you with a few minutes of comfort  I know in February It’s not popular to wish someone a happy new year anymore but, I’m writing this in January so it still counts. Everyone wants new beginnings for the new year however, a calendar change does not equal a change in life circumstances.  I began 2022 in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. One of my family members surprised all of us with a cruise for the holidays. I know that was last year but I still plan to write a blog about the accessibility features on the cruise ship. I ended the year in the corner of my living room writing and producing content for a podcast.

      People and politicians can say what they want but the Covid-19 Emergency did not “end” until about 6 months before the end of 2022. I can attest to this because we all came back from our cruise with the virus. On my first significant vacation in two years, I ended up in the doctor’s office.  Before I begin with the official topic of this post. I want to remind those in power that there are still folks being isolated because they are susceptible to this public health crisis.

    I don’t believe in new year’s resolutions. We give ourselves false expectations and then we feel bad when they’re not accomplished. Setting goals for the new year is theoretically a good idea. Yet setting additional pressure on yourself before the world has already decided what pressures to put on you.  In my opinion, this is unwise. So how can I or anyone make the upcoming year of 2023 a productive year? Instead of creating a list of expectations or goals, I decided to plant seeds of faith. 

       “Still other seeds fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.” Then Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”
    Mark 4:8‭-‬9 NIV

    If you think I’m nuts, let me give you a fun example. Cinderella had to find the pumpkin and the mice before she could go to the ball. Any miracle needs work. I’m not good at this kind of thing so I’m going to list what I’ve done so far. Please I pray whoever reads this does not misunderstand it as bragging. They’re small steps I’m taking to let God take the lead.

    1. I’ve tried to produce a podcast two different times now. I would go bonkers because the quality was never to my liking. I finally saved up enough money to buy myself podcasting equipment. After weeks of research. My grandma decided to get it for me for Christmas. I was not happy because I wanted to do it for myself but God used her to give me a head start.
    2. Despite popular opinion I cannot stand writing about myself. I always wanted to use this website to let people share their stories. My colleague Jesse Schwartzman and I are excited to announce a second podcast under this website brand called the Normal Life a podcast where we simply interview other folks with disabilities to let them tell their stories. This is why I am renaming my podcast The Purposely Broken World. All you have to do is click on the link in blue.
    3. When you have a disability like mine it’s hard to get together with friends So my best buddy David and I are getting together to release Lost in the Political Woods. A podcast where we laugh our way through the headlines in today’s world.
    4. Most people don’t know about national authors’ writing month. The idea is simple, to try to write 50,000 words in November. After I publish my first book I immediately wanted to write another book clarifying some mistakes I made. I’m not going to lie and say I wrote 50,000 words in 30 days. I wrote just shy of 30 pages. When you use voice dictation software it’s a much slower process. Not to mention a Puerto Rican family is always getting together around the holidays.
    5. After I published my book I learned the hardest part was trying to market it. I struggled with this because I wanted to message of disability inequality to reach as many people as possible. By the time you’re reading this, I would have been featured on the Rising Rebels social media platform. The focus is to showcase individuals beyond their limitations. It is the brainchild of the Walk & Roll podcast. I can’t guarantee people read the message of my book but at least it will be exposed to more people.

    The new year symbolizes a new beginning but if we don’t plant the seeds nothing can grow. Remember it will take time and a bit of life’s hard rain. You might not see the finished product right away.  Faith is the key.  What are you planting this year?

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • My First Dance

    My First Dance

    Greetings wonderful friends, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. If you’ve been paying attention  You noticed that last Wednesday was the first week I did not post any content Since I relaunched the website in March 2021. I know this is not a big deal for some people, but  I like the idea of making one person smile every week with one of my posts. I speak for my writing team and myself when I say we are thankful for every person Who took a little time out of their day just to spend it with us.

    For this post, I want to share a very special anecdote that happened to me Just a few days ago. I usually post stuff that I write a few weeks in advance. This time I had to make an exception. When you have a condition like mine (Cerebral Palsy.) The only way to stop your body from deteriorating Is to undergo physical and occupational therapy. insurance will only pay for so much during one year in the United States.

     So I spread the sessions out as much as possible over a year. As with any kind of exercise, it is difficult to see results when we are dealing with The daily hustle and bustle of life. Measuring body fat and muscle mass is not how I determine results. this year I was focusing on three things. Sitting balance, standing tolerance, and using my left arm for more functional activities.  Here are some of my final statistics for 2022.  I can now hold a water bottle with my left arm unscrew the top with my right hand and take a drink. I can now sit up unassisted for 5 minutes and 28 seconds without falling over. I can stand with someone stabilizing me for 4 minutes and 38 seconds without falling over. I’m not bragging those puny numbers are not the best part of the story.

    Jesus gave me a Christmas present early this year! If you read any of my past publish works You will know that one of my dreams is always been to dance with a pretty girl standing up. on the last session of the year, I was getting ready to do my standing tolerance When the hit song Despacito came on the Alexa. I know the Holy Spirit was behind it! First of all, They usually don’t play any music at all. If they do it’s Something soft. It’s never anything to dance to. I sarcastically mentioned the song Despacito in my book. True, there was nothing romantic going on between my physical therapist and me. The moment was still fantastic! When I started dancing she thought I was crazy. This is the first time I ever danced! 

    After the song was done I went back to my chair. Went back to the waiting room like nothing ever happened. As I turn the corner to sit in the waiting room I overheard the receptionist saying “ You’re exactly where God wants you to be. You are right in his hand.”

     She was helping someone else who was having a moment of doubt. It couldn’t be scripted better in a movie. That moment was perfect. That night When I reflected on what I had done. I cried as I thanked God over and over again. 

    He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

    Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

    When people think of miracles they want the seas to part or see money fall from the sky. That’s not how God sees things. We don’t see the world from his point of view we only see it from our limited vantage point. Most miracles take time. Has anything worth doing ever come easy? I discovered faith in Jesus Christ only 2 years ago. I might not be running a marathon anytime soon, but I will never forget my first dance. God does exist. Miracles do happen. most importantly, faith does work. Look inside your heart and talk to God he’s not that far away. See you guys soon have a good day.

    Special Announcement:

    Every TV show always takes a little break at the end of the season this post Is my version of a season finale. I will be back with new blogs in February 2023. I will still be producing content on all my social media Please follow me on Twitter, Facebook, etc for any major updates. I would like to officially announce I’m taking this small break to finish the first draft of my next book. Please subscribe to this blog as other members of my writing team may still want to publish blogs before the end of the year. On behalf of David, Jesse, Nick, and myself. We would like to wish you the very happiest of holidays and a prosperous New Year!

  • Spiritual Growing Pains

    Spiritual Growing Pains

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    Hello, my wonderful readers I’ve been looking forward to writing this particular post for a little while now. With all the distractions that capture our attention, I feel special anytime someone chooses to spend a few minutes with me reading my writings. That being said,  once again I’m going to talk about disability and my faith journey. I am not a preacher, a pastor, or a faith leader of any kind. This is my testimony as a follower of my big brother, lord, and savior Jesus Christ. At this time I’m not trying to convert anyone or start any controversy. I intend to use my experience of growth to uplift my fellow individuals with disabilities. If you feel uncomfortable you are more than welcome to come back next week. 

    The last few days I felt a little out of sorts. You see, July is disability pride month As you might have seen  I have recently written a few pieces advocating for the changes that need to occur in the disability system to better our lives and they were selected for publication. This made me feel great! I love being the voice for others and I love writing. It’s one of the few activities I can do by myself so I feel free, due to my financial situation and the limitations of my disability, I don’t get out much. It’s always cool to me when I look at the statistics of my website and someone oversees views one of my pieces. 

    Think of it like this, have you ever posted a picture of yourself in front of the mirror and posted it on Facebook? You find yourself going back and looking at how many likes you have. Facebook used to mean a lot to me too. I had over 500 friends at one point and a separate page promoting all my advocacy work. A little over a month ago both of my pages were hacked, I know this is kind of trivial but I had over 10 years of memories that were lost because the creep changed both the email and the password before I noticed. This was my validation of the “normal world.”  It was important to see myself as more than just the “disability hero.” 

    “While still growing and uncut, they wither more quickly than grass. Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless." Job 8:12‭-‬13 NIV

    What would Jesus do (WWJD)?  This is an acronym every supposed churchgoer knows but so many don’t understand it because they don’t know Jesus they only know of Jesus. Spiritual growth just like physical growth takes time. We don’t go from sucking on our thumbs to driving cars in a few weeks. We learn those skills over a given time.  The more I have come to study and meditate on the word of God the more I realized what was important.  The number of Facebook friends and views on my little website doesn’t matter at all. A few weeks ago I secretly held a social experiment. For one week I did not post anything on Facebook or text anyone. except for my childhood best friend. Who by the way just relaunched his blog. Click Here to read.

    I was hurt. I was always the guy who would send messages to everyone to make sure they were having a good day. Hardly anyone texted me. I thought I was a social butterfly. Turns out I was just easily forgettable. In life quality matters over quantity. That is the opposite of what this world teaches us. So focused on results that are only temporary. This must have been a small example of what Jesus felt like, having so much love for the world knowing and eventually accepting that it would reject him in the long run. Sometimes you only need to restart and be still so God can reveal his actual plan for us. I hope this gives you a lot to think about see you next week. 

  • 35th Trip Around the Sun

    35th Trip Around the Sun

    Salutations my beautiful readers I hope these words can make your heart smile for a few minutes. This message goes out to anyone that has a disability. This world will not understand you, this world will betray you. However, God will not because he does not make mistakes. By the time you read this, I would have just celebrated my 35th birthday. I’ve officially reached the age where you don’t want to count anymore! This year more than ever, I found myself contemplating the meaning of life as an adult with Cerebral Palsy. My heart and mind battled for several weeks leading up to the big day. This world and the society we built have placed a set of expectations on a person by this state in their life. How do you think I measure up?


    I have no traditional source of income. I’m still looking for a life partner. I have no children or anyone to pass down my legacy. I depend on others to live my life. Some would say I have no value in our society. This physical world has no expectations of me. Even if people never said it out loud, The look on their faces says “He can’t do anything for himself.” If I’m being honest with myself these assumptions are correct. So why don’t I give up? Every once in the blue moon I might get an Amazon gift card from my advocacy activities. Every time someone buys my book I wonder, I hope they read it and understand the message. What if it’s just sitting on the counter? Every woman I know is so busy they can’t return a text. At this age any woman I consider having a relationship with it’s probably going to have a child of her own, I’m not the usual stepdad girls look for. If I have nothing and will most likely never have anything of value, what is left to fight for?

    "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6 NIV


    I found my answer in Jesus and his grace! I fight for his love and his grace that I don’t deserve and cannot earn. Yes, I will admit a few weeks ago I was angry, frustrated, and hurt with the outcome of my life. I’m a sinner, a hypocrite and many people are much more deserving than I am. Especially amongst my disability community. So many people have no voice and died in the last few years with this global situation. I don’t like this world but it is so seductive.

    "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2‭-‬3 NIV   

    I don’t always understand why I was put on this planet that doesn’t understand me and will not accept me. All I know is that I have faith in God’s perfect plan. He uses weakness for his own good and his own Glory. In the long run, I will reap the benefits with my savior Jesus Christ. A general does not use his best warriors for easy battles. They’re saved for the important ones. Wherever you go though it is only temporary God’s kingdom is forever Thank you for these few minutes together friends see you next time.

  • Answering The Call

    Answering The Call

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    Happy Wednesday my wonderful friends. As always I hope this message finds you well. I want to issue a small warning to my readers I’m going to talk about my spiritual growth as a disability advocate in this post, If it is not the content you are interested in please come back next week.   saying that, I might lose some followers but I’m confident whoever this message is meant to reach the Holy Spirit will lead them to it.

     Everyone has a little voice inside their head that tells them what to do, I believe that voice for me was the Holy Spirit. “It said three things, “advocate, encourage, and read. “ It’s no secret that I do not like to read. I have not read a full book since high school and I’m not ashamed to admit that.  I kept on ignoring the voice but it wouldn’t shut up! So, on a Saturday night, I downloaded a few Bible apps not expecting anything of it.

    For me, no burning bush or demons was making my head spin.  just a few words when I was alone in quiet time. little by little I found myself spending more time with the Holy Father God taking baby steps into a much larger world. This past week I took a giant step! For those of you who don’t know I was appointed to the New Jersey Council on Developmental Disabilities (NJCDD) in September of 2016. I thought this would be the greatest achievement of my life, a chance to finally be recognized. People could finally acknowledge me as a person and not another “Boy in a wheelchair” Equal to every major organization for the last two years we’ve done all of our work virtually.  We were finally able to hold our first public meeting In a hybrid format. That’s when everything changed for me.

    But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.” 1 Corinthians 15:10 NIV

    Over the last 2 years, I have been on countless Zoom calls being the voice for people who don’t have access to technology. The truth is in a zoom box meetings become less formal. It’s easy to be more confident in your socks while sitting in a big comfortable chair next to your bed. I believe this shutdown happened for a reason it made us all sit back and reflect. The work I do does not benefit others, It is for others. I did not earn a spot at the table with my colleagues I don’t deserve to be at the table with them. I was chosen to be there with them. I may never have a big fancy house. Girls may never let me out of the friend zone. Thanks Some days, but I know it’s for a greater purpose. Thank you,  Lord Jesus, for making me the way I am. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this I will see you next week.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • The Heart of the Sinner

    The Heart of the Sinner

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    Growing up my dad always said to me, “You were put in that wheelchair for a reason, find out what it was for.” Happy Wednesday my friends as always I wish peace and joy to whoever reads this. I want to have a continuous topic on my blog that will upset some people but I know it must be done. I want to talk about faith. There are two things I want to get clear before I begin.

     First I’m not trying to show off my spirituality. I am a hypocrite like each one of us. This website is not about me but about helping others grow. I pray that my experiences will do that. It is always best to pray quietly but something is on my heart that I need to share. Second, I spiritually identify as a Christian and follow Jesus Christ. I do not belong to any church or any other religious organization. It is not my intent to offend anyone if you feel uncomfortable at any time please do not hesitate to stop reading and come back next week.

    "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

    I refer back to this verse quite a bit in all my work,  that is because I believe it saved my life. Jesus saved my life but he used this verse to do it. For context, this was written in a moment of agony by one of the apostles of Jesus. We all have weaknesses that keep us from loving God as much as we all should and want to. Life is difficult and the world around us is so cold. We are all in need of that warm embrace that we don’t deserve because we have all fallen short. Even if we don’t consciously realize it we sin every day. 

     I love Jesus, I love being the rock for my family, I love serving others, and I never look for a thank you. Helping my family pay bills may be stressful every month. Being the deciding vote to choose who gets a $100,000 grant is not fun. I can pray for wisdom and guidance and I will not lose sleep over it. I don’t like this world disabled citizens will never have true value. I dislike being the only representative for my community in meeting with legislators. However, I have come to understand that I was given this gift for a purpose. my weakness, The thorn in my side is loneliness. 

    If you followed my creations for some time now you’ll know I long for a partner to share my life with. We all confuse companionship with infatuation and lust. Earthly desire is different than spiritual love.  It takes time and discipline to learn the difference. Truthfully I struggle sometimes. I know and accept that I am not worthy of these gifts and salvation I have been given. I cannot earn it. I can only let Jesus change me one day at a time. Slowly I have learned to follow through with my new mission. I may stumble but he’s right there to pick me up because he loves me like a good friend.

     People know there’s something more than this physical plane. What distraction is keeping you from God in your life?  Thank you to God for letting me write this and thank you for reading it. See you next time.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • Walk of Destiny

    Walk of Destiny

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    The following post is an excerpt from my book Confessions from Disability Limbo released in the summer of 2021. Please enjoy.

    Hello good people I hope everyone is staying safe. I recently remembered something the other day and I had to write about it. Walking has always been a very interesting subject for me. The short answer to your next question is no, I cannot walk officially. It takes so much energy to get my muscles to do stuff they don’t want to do. When I walk I usually throw up or pass out.   I can only do it in short distances and in a therapeutic setting where it is safe. The following anecdote is pretty much the only exception.

    My father’s little sister was getting married. I have lots of aunts and uncles but this seems like something I have to do. I wish I could tell you there was some overwhelming reason that drove me to do this. I just knew from the moment she announced her engagement I had to walk down the aisle. She wanted her only nephews at that point to be part of the wedding. Just like Rocky before the big fight, I spent months getting my body ready. This was going to be the longest I had ever and whatever walk.

    I was never one of those kids who hated dressing up but there was a huge difference between walking in a pair of sweatpants and doing it in a brand new suit. There is something you need to understand about my “walking.” It’s a complete illusion. I can only step with one leg, the other one drags behind, just like a zombie on TV. Then I pull the backward-facing walker to keep my balance. The secret sauce however is my orthotics that stabilize my legs into one position so they don’t buckle.

    I have no idea what I had for dinner yesterday but it has been over 20 years since this event and I still remember every step. I know for my family members seeing the 10-year-old little boy walk was more important than seeing the bride on that day. No one had ever seen me walk before.  The reversal was easy enough.

    My mother would set me up at one end and I would walk to my father at the end of the aisle. There was only one little hitch. The velcro holding my legs to the Orthotics was wearing out. Normally, this is not a big deal, it happened to me all the time. We would stop at the store and slap on new velcro. With all the hustle and bustle we never made it to the store.

    The velcro lasted a total of 3 steps before it gave away and I had no support or stabilization whatsoever. I remember the church felt huge and it was incredibly hot. I started out walking pretty strong on pure willpower. I remember swallowing just a little bit of vomit. Halfway through I hit the wall hard. I start to see black. The church seemed empty. I have no doubt I almost fell at least twice.

    “For we live by faith, not by sight.”

    2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV

    It is funny, as a child you go to church but it’s difficult to understand the true meaning of God. I know now that was the only way I made it through that walk. I must say I’m not trying to force religion on anyone but God never abandons us and this was the first time I deeply felt his presence. I collapsed in my dad’s arms when I got there. Don’t ask me how the service was. I was in exhausted hay sipping on a bottle of water. As for my aunt and uncle, they are happily married with two of my favorite cousins both ready to go off to college.

    I hope this story can show people you can do whatever you want. The disability will be there always but it does not have to stop you. Thank you to anyone who read through this all the way and have a wonderful day.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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