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Greetings and happy Wednesday! WordPress.com informed me that I have been writing this blog for four years. I relaunched it with a podcast in March of 2022 The intention was to spark conversations about disability issues, both the positives and the negatives. Lately, I’ve been feeling spiritually restless, and a recent Facebook memory prompted me to reflect. Sometimes, we all need a reminder that God is watching over us, even when faced with life’s challenges. This is especially true for the disability community, which often grapples with questions like, “If God is perfect, why do people suffer from disabilities or other conditions?”
“This is my truth: I’m broke. I have bills to pay. I will always use a wheelchair, I will most likely always be single, and people will always underestimate me. Yes, it really sucks! I choose to look at all the good in and around my life. I don’t hide from everything. I just choose not to focus on things I can’t control. You might find it dumb or even wrong, but I’m proud of myself, and I love my life.”
Personal Facebook post from 6 years ago
To address this question,I want to ask the Holy Spirit to help me speak the truth. Some have accused me of lacking humility or bragging about my accomplishments. My only aim is to leave the world a better place than I found it. I don’t hold any degrees; I have only a high school diploma. I pray nightly, seeking forgiveness for any wrongs I may have committed. Just as the song says, “This is me.” I can only speak from my experiences and give my opinions.
Next, the statement about being broke and having bills to pay: It’s straightforward. I’ve never cashed a paycheck from an employer because, as I’ve mentioned before, working would mean losing my health insurance. Unfortunately, many private insurance companies don’t cover wheelchairs, and because of my Cerebral Palsy, I will always rely on one. There’s no cure for my neurological condition, and my life expectancy shouldn’t be affected, barring other complications.
Now, the part that keeps me up at night is: Will I always be single? I’ve had a few relationships, both with disabled and non-disabled women, but they’ve been rare. It’s okay to admit that I feel lonely. There’s a space in my heart waiting to be filled. I have a small bucket list of things I’d like to do with that special person. Nevertheless, I keep putting myself out there because I have faith that someone is waiting for me.
“The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Exodus 4:11-12 NIV”
However, there’s something special about having Jesus in my life. It’s like having a friend who’s always there to make those empty spots go away. Just knowing that Jesus is with me helps me feel better when things are tough. So, even when life gets hard, I remember that Jesus is like a comforting blanket, filling those empty spaces with his love and warmth.
Yes, it’s tough. If I dwelled on all the things I can’t do for myself and how challenging my daily life is, I’d likely go insane. No medication or doctor in the world could heal me. So instead, I choose to focus on the little joys in life—the aroma of food cooking in my house, the sound of my brother’s laughter, texts and calls from family and friends, and checking my emails for messages from my advocacy colleagues. Negativity surrounds us daily, but the key is to seek out and embrace positive moments.
I always welcome comments and encourage anyone reading my posts to share their thoughts. Some may see me as a naive optimist, and that’s perfectly fine with me because it means you gave me the chance to show you more than meets the eye. I genuinely believe that God has a purpose for me and for all of us. Thank you for your time, and may God bless you. Thank you to my small but loyalFollowers for following me on this journey. If you feel so inclined please share
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