The Advocacy Life Podcast & Blog

Author: Kevin Núñez

  • The Language Rabbit Hole

    The Language Rabbit Hole

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    The following was an opinion piece Kevin Nuñez wrote for the Burlington County Times in March 2020. Click here to read

    I am a 32-year-old disability advocate living with cerebral palsy. I am of sound mind and spirit, and I’m inviting you to go down a linguistically inspired rabbit hole with me to start a much deeper conversation about human awareness and language.

    Before beginning, I know what I’m about to say is controversial and might raise more questions than answers. I am trying to make people aware of the way we are communicating with one another. Unlike Alice in Wonderland, we cannot wake up from this nightmare. Just like my disability, it will not disappear. This should be an ongoing conversation, with people allowed to draw their own conclusions. We should learn to understand the meaning behind words and phrases before we use them. If we look up the etymology of most words, we would find a negative connotation for most of them.

    My function as an advocate is to educate and collaborate with others to better the lives of those affected by disability. I have come to realize that I am more of a human advocate, because everyone has a disability.

    One day, I was giving an orientation to new direct support professionals (DSPs) on how to treat individuals with respect and so forth. Later that night, I was out with friends whom I have not seen in a long time. During the conversation, they jokingly used the R-word once. I did not want to break up the conversation and begin a lecture on disability and why the word is offensive. No one at the table was trying to be offensive; there was no malice behind it. I immediately cringed internally. What was I to do? I can’t wear my advocacy hat all the time. I have the right to have fun as well.

    The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.- Proverbs 14:15 NIV

    When the night ended, I pulled the one person aside and simply explained the situation. That person apologized, and that was the end of it. There was no need to cause a scene in the middle of a restaurant. I did not have to shame them in front of everyone. We didn’t have to stop being friends because they made a mistake. All I had to do was express myself in a calm way and make sure they didn’t forget it.

    These days, everyone preaches acceptance, but we also need to preach tolerance. People will say the wrong thing. This does not mean they should be punished for the rest of their lives. Words are tools, like hammers and knives. Yes, they can be used to hurt. They can also be used to build and create wonderful statements that can change the world. We are so quick to destroy anyone who says something we don’t like, instead of educating them to make the change.

    Comedian Kevin Hart made a joke many years ago about how he would discipline his son if he ever said he was gay or transsexual. At the last Oscars ceremony, Hart was scheduled to host. There was such a huge uproar about his statement that he removed himself. If we are going to judge every word every person ever said, then we should all put tape over our mouths and learn to communicate telepathically.

    In conclusion, language is like comedy — totally subjective. It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. Tone and delivery matter. Think of it like this: Have you ever texted someone and then had to send another text immediately after to explain it?

    How we communicate is like driving. Everyone does it a little differently. We have all sped up and broken a rule once in a while. We may cause a major tragedy, a tiny fender bender, or get away with it.

    We can do only so much. First of all, know your audience. Find the most effective way to deliver your message. Learn to accept feedback and reactions. Most importantly, be patient with how to respond to someone’s message back to us.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • Restarting Life

    Restarting Life

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    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalms 139:14 NIV


My name is Kevin Nuñez I live with Cerebral Palsy and I cannot do the simplest tasks like tie my shoes. In my senior English class, I had to write a practice essay question for college applications. For some, I’m sure it was just a silly assignment. For me It’s something I never forgot.  “If life had a reset button, would you press it? Like every big decision, they’re pros and cons, so let me give you both of them before I give you my answer.

The negatives: Lack of spontaneity, because I need help from others to do so many daily tasks, I rarely get the feeling. I’m just doing what I want when I want it. Everybody likes the idea of staying in bed an extra 15 minutes. What if you can’t get out of bed until your caregiver shows up for their shift? Feeling like a burden, I have had so many family and friends rearrange their schedules just to include me and sacrifice so much. That it honestly hurts me I just want to run away when in fact that is the last thing I can do. The disability community is the largest under-served population in the USA. That is because they lock us into a system of poverty. It’s simple, the belief is if you work you’re not disabled. That doesn’t consider so many obvious factors most insurance companies Don’t cover wheelchairs or other daily used devices. You want to strengthen to be the best person you can be the fact is you cannot. At 33 It’s no longer amusing to be single. Finding someone to share your life with is simply part of the human experience. Disability and relationships sometimes don’t mix well. Some people  Will never give you a chance to see you as anything more. People have their little check boxes of what they think a partner should be. People were not designed to be put into boxes.

The positives: The kindness and generosity of others, This world can be really dark. I have seen the very best in people. I find the light and the goodness in everyone. No one is all bad, despite what others say. The willingness to not give up so many people who have “everything” Simply choose to do nothing with it. I never look to be an inspiration. However, if I make one person strive to be better through my actions. Then I have helped the world and we should all want to leave the world better than you found it. God’s blessings, I have had so many fortunate and unique adventures that would not have happened if it was not for this disability. From Being on a local radio show as a little kid. To meet with legislators in Washington, DC. I can’t say that me and God have had the best relationship over the years, but I have definitely become a man of faith. I am so grateful for all that I have. I may not have had a lot of relationships to brag about, but I have stayed friends with all them. The simple fact is If you give a person with a disability a chance. You see that the relationship is much deeper and fulfilling because we go past all the typical surface issues that most people cannot get past.  

I am well aware some of you out there would gladly say that you would press the restart button. Regardless of If you had a disability or not. My point is simply this, We have to stop looking at the bad. So we can find the good. By doing this, you do not deny the bad. You are just searching for a unique perspective. Will fully admit, there is no longer a straightforward answer to this question. Some days are tough. That’s just part of life. My answer is still the same as it was all those years ago. I cannot and we’ll never wish to start my life over again.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • Finding your Belessings

    Finding your Belessings

    By David Champignon

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    Hello, loyal friends and readers. It’s David Champignon. My friend Kevin is hard at work on many upcoming writing projects and has asked me to step in for a few weeks in the interim. With that said, I would like to share something that my wife Jenny and I watched on Sunday. That night we saw the movie The Blessing Bracelet on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries. To my amazement, it’s based on a genuinely beautiful story.

    A woman named Dawn had gone through a divorce and faced mounting doubt and the looming threat of foreclosure at the house where she and her son lived when a friend reminded her of bracelets she used to make. longing for something different but unsure of what exactly to do for those she loved. Like so much that happens in real life, the improvements started off slowly.

    Working at a local restaurant, she began giving the blessing bracelets to customers as a little something extra in addition to her existing great customer service skills. Part of the magic of the blessing bracelets is that they are made with four beads so that people can reflect on the four blessings present in their lives at any time of the day.

    Over time, her community, including her church, rallied around her, and she could barely keep up with demand for the bracelets. Dawn and her loving son made enough money to pay off their debt and cancel the foreclosure. To this day, blessing bracelets are a vibrant business you can order from for yourself or your family.

    What is the lesson here? While not everyone can be an entrepreneur and start a small business to bring joy and blessings to the world, the challenge is to remember the blessings we all have in life. Remember to not take things for granted, no matter how routine our lives get. Finally, remember that the people who matter in life will stick around no matter what. Love those people with all your heart and soul because those people are truly special. Have a great week, and I will see you next week.

    Sources:

    The Blessing Bracelet Movie

    https://www.hallmarkmoviesandmysteries.com/the-blessing-bracelet/about-the-blessing-bracelet

    https://decider.com/2023/04/10/we-found-the-bracelet-from-hallmarks-the-blessing-bracelet/

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • Hollywood v. Disability

    Hollywood v. Disability

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    PBW May 2023

    In the May episode of The Purposely Broken World, Kevin breaks down the disability hierarchy portrayed in modern cinema. Hollywood only uses disabilities that are easily manageable or easily hidden. Too often, people with disabilities are typecast as the inspiration or the villain. Hopefully, this episode will start a conversation that will lead to change. All comments are welcome.

    Spotify link

    Show Notes:
    Forrest Gump movie trailer: https://youtu.be/XHhAG-YLdk8
    CODA: movie trailer https://youtu.be/0pmfrE1YL4I

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • A Message for Young Advocates

    A Message for Young Advocates

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    Salutations to my dear friends. I hope you guys are all enjoying the early days of spring. Every once in a while, we all need a pick-me-up. I decided to write one for my fellow individuals who may be having a hard time right now. Please read or share this with any individuals with a disability of any kind who are going through a difficult time. I, the writer, have a disability, so I hope my words can provide additional comfort. What I’m going to do to make this writing a little more digestible, is list ten brief statements for you to ponder over. Please note the order does not indicate importance; it’s just the way it came out of me.

    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalms 139:14 NIV
    • Just because there is something medically wrong with you does not mean there’s anything wrong with you. Scientifically one in four people are diagnosed with some form of developmental disability. It is universally understood that no human is perfect, therefore there has to be something wrong with everyone.
    • Don’t let your bad days distract you from remembering the good days.
    • You are under no obligation to accept someone’s evaluation of you.
    • Everyone always fights for what they want, don’t let them make you feel less than for doing the same.
    • Your disability cannot stop you from having a life, only you can do that. Learn the difference between existing in living.
    • if you want people to see you as a person, you must do it before the public does.
    • Your disability does not give you an excuse to treat others any less than you want to be treated.
    • Learn to rest and exercise both your mind and your body.
    • We are never abandoned without a gift. Once you learn what yours is, do not be afraid to use it.
    • Find a small circle of friends, not a large number of acquaintances.

    I pray this small blog finds someone who needs uplifting and encouragement. Remember, you are not given anything you cannot handle. Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you soon.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • People V. Hate

    People V. Hate

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    Do people ever do little things or say little things that bother you? A pet peeve is defined as just that: ” Something that a particular person finds especially annoying.” I decided to do something a little bit different with this blog post. I want to tell you about one of my “pet peeves” to hopefully create a discussion about how people interact with each other. It bothers me when people say, “I hate people.” I can’t believe people hate every single person in the world that exists on the planet today. So, what exactly do people hate?

    Jesus replied, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37‭, ‬39‭-‬40 NIV

    We live in an on-demand society. We have the world at our fingertips, with unlimited amounts of information. You can have your groceries delivered to you within two hours. You can watch any show you want anytime you want. The fact is, people, do not work the same way. It takes time to get to know a person. With the invention of social media, we lead ourselves to believe that we do know someone. Then we are disheartened when it turns out that they were not who they said they were. We no longer use social skills to introduce ourselves, now we use keystrokes. Have you ever been to a party and seen all the kids in a corner together? They communicate with each other without ever saying a word to each other. I find this to be very sad.

    We no longer have patience because everything comes to us right away. People may be rude and inconsiderate, but we no longer try to understand one another. If you think I’m wrong, answer this question Do you know your neighbor? Your best friends used to be your neighbors. I know these are just a few reasons why we all have lost the ability to consistently and effectively create a positive relationship. After reading this, I challenge you to speak to three new people in your world today. Take care, and I will see you next Wednesday as usual.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • A Message Young Writers

    A Message Young Writers

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    Hello, my good friends, I hope your day is going well. The idea for this blog took me a bit to develop. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I could even write about this topic. Then I figured it couldn’t do any harm, so here we go. What do you need to be a talented writer? Before I begin, I must issue a small disclaimer. I do not have a degree in journalism, creative writing, or anything like that. I’ve said this many times. The only accreditation I’ve ever had is a basic high school diploma. So remember, while these suggestions are coming with the best of intentions, take them with a grain of salt.

    There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 1 Corinthians 12:4‭-‬5 NIV
    • If you love writing, then you are a writer! If you write every day, then you are a writer! Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
    • Unlike a movie that a thousand people can see at a time, only one person can read your words at a time. So write to just that person.
    • Writing is a challenge. The page always starts blank. If it was not a God-given talent, everyone could do it.
    • It doesn’t matter if you’re writing about pink elephants or the cheesiest erotica novel, if you spend your time and energy on it, be proud of it.
    • When you’re writing you are sharing a piece of yourself with the world, if you don’t love what you wrote then don’t publish it.
    • Always have a TEAM of editors you trust. If you don’t like objective criticism, then don’t share your work with them.
    • This is not the 1800s reading is no longer the accepted medium to share information. do not be offended when people don’t read your work. Put bluntly, “Writing is not sexy.”
    • Writing is about making a connection, and it does not mean you can connect with every person in the world. With enough connections, you make an impact to change.
    • Despite what any English teacher would have you believe, there are no rules. So write what you know and write what you believe.
    • If you’re not having fun, then you’re doing it wrong.

    I know these suggestions might not make you the next Hemingway or F Scott Fitzgerald, but I hope they make you think about the gift you have and how to use it. It took me a long time to focus and harness my writing style. This is a tiny blog with a tiny following. Share this with anyone who you think might gain something from it. Have fun, and above all NEVER STOP WRITING!

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • Chances & Choices: Fictional Short Story

    Chances & Choices: Fictional Short Story

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    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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    This week I wanted to do something totally different and share my first Fictional short story called chances and choices. Hope you enjoy

    chances-and-choicesDownload
  • Subconscious Life Values

    Subconscious Life Values

    Purposely Broken World episode 3

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    Latest Episode Here

    In the April episode of the Purposely Broken World, Kevin uses the films Me Before You and The Fundamentals of Caring as the backdrop to a conversation about the value of life. Regardless of circumstance, every life is precious. Is the media subtly telling us that if someone has a significant physical or behavioral disability, they should die? How many people have all their faculties but waste their lives? Ponder these questions and more in this very thought-provoking episode. Parental advisory is not for language or sexuality but for sensitive topics. All comments are welcome.

    Bonus episode link: ⁠https://anchor.fm/theadvocacyllifepodcast/subscribe⁠

    Show Notes: ⁠https://youtu.be/Eh993__rOxA⁠ ⁠https://youtu.be/BSXn-lIs4Y0⁠ ⁠https://wagsofsci.com/⁠

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • Seasons of Life

    Seasons of Life

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    Living the Extraordinary Life episode 2

    In the second episode of her podcast Ms, Betsy Lee takes us through the hardships of watching her daughter undergo multiple surgeries. faith was the only thing that could and would get her through it. Her emotions can be felt in every syllable of her voice. You can find joy in the hard seasons of life. This is a real testimony.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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