The Advocacy Life Podcast & Blog

Category: Disability Awareness

  • The Language Rabbit Hole

    The Language Rabbit Hole

    The following was an opinion piece Kevin Nuñez wrote for the Burlington County Times in March 2020. Click here to read

    I am a 32-year-old disability advocate living with cerebral palsy. I am of sound mind and spirit, and I’m inviting you to go down a linguistically inspired rabbit hole with me to start a much deeper conversation about human awareness and language.

    Before beginning, I know what I’m about to say is controversial and might raise more questions than answers. I am trying to make people aware of the way we are communicating with one another. Unlike Alice in Wonderland, we cannot wake up from this nightmare. Just like my disability, it will not disappear. This should be an ongoing conversation, with people allowed to draw their own conclusions. We should learn to understand the meaning behind words and phrases before we use them. If we look up the etymology of most words, we would find a negative connotation for most of them.

    My function as an advocate is to educate and collaborate with others to better the lives of those affected by disability. I have come to realize that I am more of a human advocate, because everyone has a disability.

    One day, I was giving an orientation to new direct support professionals (DSPs) on how to treat individuals with respect and so forth. Later that night, I was out with friends whom I have not seen in a long time. During the conversation, they jokingly used the R-word once. I did not want to break up the conversation and begin a lecture on disability and why the word is offensive. No one at the table was trying to be offensive; there was no malice behind it. I immediately cringed internally. What was I to do? I can’t wear my advocacy hat all the time. I have the right to have fun as well.

    The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.- Proverbs 14:15 NIV

    When the night ended, I pulled the one person aside and simply explained the situation. That person apologized, and that was the end of it. There was no need to cause a scene in the middle of a restaurant. I did not have to shame them in front of everyone. We didn’t have to stop being friends because they made a mistake. All I had to do was express myself in a calm way and make sure they didn’t forget it.

    These days, everyone preaches acceptance, but we also need to preach tolerance. People will say the wrong thing. This does not mean they should be punished for the rest of their lives. Words are tools, like hammers and knives. Yes, they can be used to hurt. They can also be used to build and create wonderful statements that can change the world. We are so quick to destroy anyone who says something we don’t like, instead of educating them to make the change.

    Comedian Kevin Hart made a joke many years ago about how he would discipline his son if he ever said he was gay or transsexual. At the last Oscars ceremony, Hart was scheduled to host. There was such a huge uproar about his statement that he removed himself. If we are going to judge every word every person ever said, then we should all put tape over our mouths and learn to communicate telepathically.

    In conclusion, language is like comedy — totally subjective. It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. Tone and delivery matter. Think of it like this: Have you ever texted someone and then had to send another text immediately after to explain it?

    How we communicate is like driving. Everyone does it a little differently. We have all sped up and broken a rule once in a while. We may cause a major tragedy, a tiny fender bender, or get away with it.

    We can do only so much. First of all, know your audience. Find the most effective way to deliver your message. Learn to accept feedback and reactions. Most importantly, be patient with how to respond to someone’s message back to us.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • Hollywood v. Disability

    Hollywood v. Disability

    PBW May 2023

    In the May episode of The Purposely Broken World, Kevin breaks down the disability hierarchy portrayed in modern cinema. Hollywood only uses disabilities that are easily manageable or easily hidden. Too often, people with disabilities are typecast as the inspiration or the villain. Hopefully, this episode will start a conversation that will lead to change. All comments are welcome.

    Spotify link

    Show Notes:
    Forrest Gump movie trailer: https://youtu.be/XHhAG-YLdk8
    CODA: movie trailer https://youtu.be/0pmfrE1YL4I

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • A Message for Young Advocates

    A Message for Young Advocates

    Salutations to my dear friends. I hope you guys are all enjoying the early days of spring. Every once in a while, we all need a pick-me-up. I decided to write one for my fellow individuals who may be having a hard time right now. Please read or share this with any individuals with a disability of any kind who are going through a difficult time. I, the writer, have a disability, so I hope my words can provide additional comfort. What I’m going to do to make this writing a little more digestible, is list ten brief statements for you to ponder over. Please note the order does not indicate importance; it’s just the way it came out of me.

    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalms 139:14 NIV
    • Just because there is something medically wrong with you does not mean there’s anything wrong with you. Scientifically one in four people are diagnosed with some form of developmental disability. It is universally understood that no human is perfect, therefore there has to be something wrong with everyone.
    • Don’t let your bad days distract you from remembering the good days.
    • You are under no obligation to accept someone’s evaluation of you.
    • Everyone always fights for what they want, don’t let them make you feel less than for doing the same.
    • Your disability cannot stop you from having a life, only you can do that. Learn the difference between existing in living.
    • if you want people to see you as a person, you must do it before the public does.
    • Your disability does not give you an excuse to treat others any less than you want to be treated.
    • Learn to rest and exercise both your mind and your body.
    • We are never abandoned without a gift. Once you learn what yours is, do not be afraid to use it.
    • Find a small circle of friends, not a large number of acquaintances.

    I pray this small blog finds someone who needs uplifting and encouragement. Remember, you are not given anything you cannot handle. Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you soon.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • People V. Hate

    People V. Hate

    Do people ever do little things or say little things that bother you? A pet peeve is defined as just that: ” Something that a particular person finds especially annoying.” I decided to do something a little bit different with this blog post. I want to tell you about one of my “pet peeves” to hopefully create a discussion about how people interact with each other. It bothers me when people say, “I hate people.” I can’t believe people hate every single person in the world that exists on the planet today. So, what exactly do people hate?

    Jesus replied, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37‭, ‬39‭-‬40 NIV

    We live in an on-demand society. We have the world at our fingertips, with unlimited amounts of information. You can have your groceries delivered to you within two hours. You can watch any show you want anytime you want. The fact is, people, do not work the same way. It takes time to get to know a person. With the invention of social media, we lead ourselves to believe that we do know someone. Then we are disheartened when it turns out that they were not who they said they were. We no longer use social skills to introduce ourselves, now we use keystrokes. Have you ever been to a party and seen all the kids in a corner together? They communicate with each other without ever saying a word to each other. I find this to be very sad.

    We no longer have patience because everything comes to us right away. People may be rude and inconsiderate, but we no longer try to understand one another. If you think I’m wrong, answer this question Do you know your neighbor? Your best friends used to be your neighbors. I know these are just a few reasons why we all have lost the ability to consistently and effectively create a positive relationship. After reading this, I challenge you to speak to three new people in your world today. Take care, and I will see you next Wednesday as usual.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • A Message Young Writers

    A Message Young Writers

    Hello, my good friends, I hope your day is going well. The idea for this blog took me a bit to develop. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I could even write about this topic. Then I figured it couldn’t do any harm, so here we go. What do you need to be a talented writer? Before I begin, I must issue a small disclaimer. I do not have a degree in journalism, creative writing, or anything like that. I’ve said this many times. The only accreditation I’ve ever had is a basic high school diploma. So remember, while these suggestions are coming with the best of intentions, take them with a grain of salt.

    There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 1 Corinthians 12:4‭-‬5 NIV
    • If you love writing, then you are a writer! If you write every day, then you are a writer! Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
    • Unlike a movie that a thousand people can see at a time, only one person can read your words at a time. So write to just that person.
    • Writing is a challenge. The page always starts blank. If it was not a God-given talent, everyone could do it.
    • It doesn’t matter if you’re writing about pink elephants or the cheesiest erotica novel, if you spend your time and energy on it, be proud of it.
    • When you’re writing you are sharing a piece of yourself with the world, if you don’t love what you wrote then don’t publish it.
    • Always have a TEAM of editors you trust. If you don’t like objective criticism, then don’t share your work with them.
    • This is not the 1800s reading is no longer the accepted medium to share information. do not be offended when people don’t read your work. Put bluntly, “Writing is not sexy.”
    • Writing is about making a connection, and it does not mean you can connect with every person in the world. With enough connections, you make an impact to change.
    • Despite what any English teacher would have you believe, there are no rules. So write what you know and write what you believe.
    • If you’re not having fun, then you’re doing it wrong.

    I know these suggestions might not make you the next Hemingway or F Scott Fitzgerald, but I hope they make you think about the gift you have and how to use it. It took me a long time to focus and harness my writing style. This is a tiny blog with a tiny following. Share this with anyone who you think might gain something from it. Have fun, and above all NEVER STOP WRITING!

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • Chances & Choices: Fictional Short Story

    Chances & Choices: Fictional Short Story

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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    This week I wanted to do something totally different and share my first Fictional short story called chances and choices. Hope you enjoy

    chances-and-choicesDownload
  • Subconscious Life Values

    Subconscious Life Values

    Purposely Broken World episode 3

    Latest Episode Here

    In the April episode of the Purposely Broken World, Kevin uses the films Me Before You and The Fundamentals of Caring as the backdrop to a conversation about the value of life. Regardless of circumstance, every life is precious. Is the media subtly telling us that if someone has a significant physical or behavioral disability, they should die? How many people have all their faculties but waste their lives? Ponder these questions and more in this very thought-provoking episode. Parental advisory is not for language or sexuality but for sensitive topics. All comments are welcome.

    Bonus episode link: ⁠https://anchor.fm/theadvocacyllifepodcast/subscribe⁠

    Show Notes: ⁠https://youtu.be/Eh993__rOxA⁠ ⁠https://youtu.be/BSXn-lIs4Y0⁠ ⁠https://wagsofsci.com/⁠

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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  • Get Naked

    Get Naked

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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    Note: The following book post is an excerpt from my book Confessions From Disability Limbo only on Amazon and Audible. it is a very crude example of disability life.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I have a problem. I know someone will find it controversial. I am fearfully waiting for an email from some legislative officer in the governor’s office, removing me from all the committees I serve on. Besides, I know my mother, little sister, cousins, and 80-year-old grandmother are all going to make a line to beat me after reading this. I beg the Indulgence of all of you. This is advocacy in its purest form. Are you comfortable naked?

    That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 NIV

    Two years ago, I was on a respite with my twin brother. They undressed me on the bed. When my brother said that, he had to use the bathroom most urgently. Our staff quickly went to go handle his needs, and they left me like Adam in Paradise before he discovered fig leaves! I rolled over and grabbed my phone and began listening to music. A few minutes later my staff finds me in my little world drumming along to the epic drum solo in the song I Can Feel It calling in the air tonight by Phil Collins.

    I have often said that I’m uncomfortable with my body, but I have become comfortable being naked around strangers. I am a 35-year-old male wing roughly 135 lbs. Exactly 5 feet tall with hair everywhere on my body except my head, with a collection of scars from past surgeries. I will not be on the cover of GQ magazine soon. The staff that saw me in this vulnerable status had met me less than 24 hours earlier.

    There is this trend on the platform Tik Tok where people walk in front of their significant others in the nude facing the camera outward to capture the reaction. Every time I saw one of these videos I had the same thought “this does not represent my life and those in the disability community.” Imagine having a conversation about sports or if they liked the Chinese food last night as you go over the proper procedure for them to clean your backside. Some people might find this awkward or even laughable I am still one of the lucky ones because being naked often leads to torture for some individuals. For many years, receiving a cold shower was a form of behavioral control for those who lived in institutions. Individuals or the very staff that were supposed to protect them violated some daily. This still happens today. How would you communicate that the water was too hot if you couldn’t speak? This also happens every day.

    I have a challenge for every person who reads this post. Tell or ask someone you love something personal about you when you are nude. Then make yourself have a conversation This simple exercise would hopefully give you a glimpse of what it is like to feel like those of us with disabilities. Even when you are getting a break because most of the time, the people that see us in this vulnerable state we don’t love.

    Here are the rules:

    You can’t do it after sex when everything is perfect.

    You can’t do it to get their attention, you know this is not about sex.

    You can’t cheat and say, ” is this a mole on my back?” It’s got to be something real.

    The most important conversations I have ever had have been in this moment.

    All I ever wanted to do is share my experiences with the rest of the world to show that people with disabilities are people first. Something that society forgets about from time to time: thank you to anyone brave enough to try this. Have a great day, friends.

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  • Breaking the Societal Box

    Breaking the Societal Box

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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    Available on all podcast platforms
    Watch it on YouTube

    Title: Breaking the Societal Box

    Gender, sexual orientation, and ethnicity are all labels society tries to put on us. In this episode, I’m trying to help us see the whole person. The human experience cannot be confined to one category. Please join me for a thoughtful conversation All opinions are my own. My work for this episode is based on the blog below. Please subscribe for bonus content.

    Blog post:
    https://wp.me/pblmva-oz

    Bonus Episodes:
    https://anchor.fm/theadvocacyllifepodcast/subscribe

    The Advocacy Life website:
    https://advocatekevinnunez.wordpress.com/

  • Things to Know about Wheelchairs

    Things to Know about Wheelchairs

    Greetings friends, I always want to hear from my audience please let me know how you are in the comments. I always get questions about my wheelchair. so, I decided to do something about it. Below are 10 things I want people to know about wheelchairs. I hope you all take away something from this. Enjoy and have a good day.

    "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
    Matthew 5:5 NIV"
    https://matthew.bible/matthew-5-5
    • If you see someone struggling to push their wheelchair. Don’t just go behind them and push. How would you like it if someone grabbed your legs and made you walk?
    • Not all wheelchairs are the same. Most of the time their custom made. Just like every human, every wheelchair is different.
    • If you see someone in a mass-produced wheelchair. Please be patient they are probably uncomfortable. These chairs are not meant for everyday use.
    • If you see someone, open the door for them. Don’t cut in front of them because you’re in a hurry. It’s not polite to assume that someone else will help.
    • The wheelchair may be an extension of their body but unlike yourself, they can’t just clean it when they want to. If you see that it’s a little dirty don’t judge them.
    • Ask how to transfer them if you’re going to do that. Don’t just grab someone’s body. That would be very rude wouldn’t it?
    • Not all wheelchairs have tires filled with air.
    • The vision is at eye level come down to us if you want to talk to us. insurance companies generally deny those wheelchairs that raise up.
    • don’t ask if we have a license to drive the wheelchair you’re not the first person to think of that joke.
    • it is perfectly acceptable to have your children come up to us, just don’t be rude about it.

    Disability Limbo Newsletter

    I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters

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