I want to wish all my readers a wonderful Wednesday. for this week’s post, I decided to share an excerpt from my first publication Confessions From Disability Limbo Available exclusively on Amazon Please enjoy see you next Wednesday. I welcome all comments Good and bad.
There is a question that every person with a disability gets asked a few times in their life. “What would you do if you had an entire day without your disability?” The first thing I would do is get up as early as possible because I know I would need every minute. I would stand up and use the bathroom all by myself. It always felt a little emasculating to pee sitting down to be perfectly honest. Then I would get dressed and find a baseball glove and throw some pitches on the mound. I have no interest in batting. Just let me throw the ball, to get rid of all of my frustrations. Next, I would get in the car and listen to whatever music I wanted, because no one could change stations but me. I would drive to as many friends as I could just to give them hugs. Something that no one realizes is because I’m sitting down, I’ve never actually hugged someone. I always have to wait till they give me one. Make a quick stop at the beach next, just to feel the sand on my toes.
The last thing I would do is get all dressed up and go dancing. This is what I want most of all. I would find the prettiest girl on the dance floor and dip her just like they do in old movies. I know what you’re thinking. “You could go dancing now.” I have taken my wheelchair out on the dance floor many times. But I want to go to a club and dance all night. Even though I have tons of wonderful staff and Friends I have nobody to go to stay out all night with and just dance. I would dance until the last minute until I fell because the 24 hours had expired. Then I would get back to my chair with a gigantic smile on my face.
“Can you stand up?” That’s something I get asked all the time. So let me answer the question once and for all. The answer is yes and no at the same time. I can bear my weight which creates the illusion that I’m standing but in reality, I can tip over at any moment once someone places me in that standing position. The only way I can stand semi-independently is if I’m holding on to a grab bar or something of that nature. Eventually, my arms will give out and I will be down on the floor until someone comes and picks me up. Let me be clear, when I say I am bearing my own weight in this case it means that I’m doing the work my muscles are sustaining my body mass in this position. Someone still needs to help stabilize me. They should not have to exert any effort at all. The ironic thing is so many people in my life have never seen me do this activity. I only do it when I am about to transfer or in some therapeutic setting. You don’t need to be a physical therapist or a caregiver to get me into this position. It just takes a lot of practice, not skill. The practice is just confidence-building for the other person to realize you are not going to drop me and we really can’t hurt each other. The cool thing about this activity is that it is in the perfect position for me to hug others.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 NIV
Something people don’t realize is because I’m always sitting down I can never give the people I love a gentle embrace. I always have to wait for them to give me one. People know me in one of two ways: a loudmouth obnoxious joker or a constant professional looking for the next opportunity to advocate for others. People are so used to seeing me in a seated position they don’t even think twice about seeing me stand up. The look of shock and horror I receive when I ask people “Can you send me up so I can give you a hug” never gets old. Sometimes I don’t ask because I know they would feel uncomfortable. That’s one of the reasons why I choose to publish this. We live in a world where showing affection is often wrong and frowned upon. So many people require simple human contact. These are the people I’ve always wanted to hug but never have.
My parents, step-parents, and grandparents have all felt my embrace since they have all transferred me at one point or another. So even though I love you all very much this list is not for you. Thank you for your strong and kind hugs throughout the years. Please remember like always the order doesn’t matter because I love them all in one way or another.
First, I owe so many hugs to my little cousins. I usually only went to Puerto Rico on vacation and I was so much older than most of them. A lot of them have never seen me without my wheelchair.
Next would be without a doubt my colleagues at the New Jersey Council on Developmental Disabilities becoming an advocate changed my life. Some of my colleagues watched me grow up in front of their eyes. I would give every one of them a hug. I know standing up in the middle of a board room it’s probably not the most professional thing but I think if I ever really did this they would make an exception.
Both of my siblings are next, I have a twin brother with a similar disability because we’re both sitting down most of the time. I’ve never hugged my brother. I am a notoriously non-crier but I’m pretty sure this one would make me a little Misty to say the very least. Picture it living with someone for over 30 years and never hugging them. My little sister who is no longer little has now gone off to college and even though she is “normal” she never actually stood me up. I have no doubt she can do it since she has seen it done a thousand times. It’s just one of those things we never got around to. She has never come into the house or left the house without giving me one. I just think I owe her one now.
Finally, there’s one person I can’t wait to hug: my future girlfriend. It will be such a wonderful experience holding her and letting her feel safe and warm just before kissing her. As with all my blogs, I hope this changes your perspective on the human experience. I dare all of you to go out this week and give more hugs. Somebody will need it even if they don’t say it. Thank you for reading and see you next Wednesday.
How do you use your voice? Our voices are one gift we usually take for granted. I know I do. As an advocate I always try to remember That I don’t speak for myself, I speak for others as well if not more. We all speak too much and say things we shouldn’t. Could you imagine not being able to say anything at all? We need to stop complaining about every little thing and appreciate what we already have. I have been fortunate enough in my travels to meet some wonderful individuals who are non-verbal. They are some of the best people in this world, only we never take the time to notice. I hope this post will shine a light on those we have forgotten. This past year has been difficult for all of us. Imagine being scared and not being able to express it or fully understand it.
This will not be the longest post I have ever written or even the most eloquent, but I pray it makes the biggest difference in changing our collective perspective. Below are 10 simple sentences that we’ve all said, but if we could never have said them at all, our lives would have been greatly affected.
The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord?” Exodus 4:11 NIV
To my dear friends who have never spoken a word, thank you for your patience and understanding from lack of mindfulness. Please take your time reading each statement and let it flow through you.
“I don’t like the feeling of this shirt.”
“Why do my shoes not feel right?”
“How long is this car ride? I have to go to the bathroom. “
“What happened to that gracious lady who always remembered to put mayonnaise on my sandwiches? “
“I don’t want to eat this sandwich, it’s so dry.”
“Your hands are icy.”
“My ear hurts. I really think I need to go to the doctor.”
“I don’t want to watch this TV show. Why do they always put it on?”
“That person really hurt me! Don’t put me with them!”
“I wish the girl knew how pretty she really was.”
Disability Limbo Newsletter
I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters
Growing up my dad always said to me, “You were put in that wheelchair for a reason, find out what it was for.” Happy Wednesday my friends as always I wish peace and joy to whoever reads this. I want to have a continuous topic on my blog that will upset some people but I know it must be done. I want to talk about faith. There are two things I want to get clear before I begin.
First I’m not trying to show off my spirituality. I am a hypocrite like each one of us. This website is not about me but about helping others grow. I pray that my experiences will do that. It is always best to pray quietly but something is on my heart that I need to share. Second, I spiritually identify as a Christian and follow Jesus Christ. I do not belong to any church or any other religious organization. It is not my intent to offend anyone if you feel uncomfortable at any time please do not hesitate to stop reading and come back next week.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
I refer back to this verse quite a bit in all my work, that is because I believe it saved my life. Jesus saved my life but he used this verse to do it. For context, this was written in a moment of agony by one of the apostles of Jesus. We all have weaknesses that keep us from loving God as much as we all should and want to. Life is difficult and the world around us is so cold. We are all in need of that warm embrace that we don’t deserve because we have all fallen short. Even if we don’t consciously realize it we sin every day.
I love Jesus, I love being the rock for my family, I love serving others, and I never look for a thank you. Helping my family pay bills may be stressful every month. Being the deciding vote to choose who gets a $100,000 grant is not fun. I can pray for wisdom and guidance and I will not lose sleep over it. I don’t like this world disabled citizens will never have true value. I dislike being the only representative for my community in meeting with legislators. However, I have come to understand that I was given this gift for a purpose. my weakness, The thorn in my side is loneliness.
If you followed my creations for some time now you’ll know I long for a partner to share my life with. We all confuse companionship with infatuation and lust. Earthly desire is different than spiritual love. It takes time and discipline to learn the difference. Truthfully I struggle sometimes. I know and accept that I am not worthy of these gifts and salvation I have been given. I cannot earn it. I can only let Jesus change me one day at a time. Slowly I have learned to follow through with my new mission. I may stumble but he’s right there to pick me up because he loves me like a good friend.
People know there’s something more than this physical plane. What distraction is keeping you from God in your life? Thank you to God for letting me write this and thank you for reading it. See you next time.
Disability Limbo Newsletter
I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters
Hello everyone, let’s spend a few minutes together and escape from life. I wanted to have some fun today. I designed this website and blog to be an ongoing conversation to bridge the gaps between the disability community and the general public conversation but I can only give you one perspective. I need you guys to get involved as well, Therefore I came up with this list of questions for anyone who takes the time to read it. Feel free to answer all questions or as many as you feel comfortable.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalms 73:26 NIV"
This should be obvious, can someone give me an accurate description of what it’s like to run?
It always takes me about an hour and a half to get ready for the day with the help of others. How long does it usually take you to get ready for the day?
What is the first thing you think of when you see someone in a wheelchair or some other visible disability?
Do you put your socks on before or after you put your pants on? I never really have a choice, so I never really thought about it.
I know I need help in the bathroom; I have to inform people. Why do people always announce it when they leave the room?
Every parent wants a “healthy” child, what exactly is that to you?
What exactly is so “inspirational” about people with disabilities?
We live in a world where physical appearance is idolized, what is so hard about looking at the person?
Why do people want to spend so much time alone on the toilet? Balancing is tricky for me. I want to get off of that thing as soon as possible. Why do you want your leg to go numb?
How long can you stand up before you feel tired?
How long can you sit down before you feel tired?
What’s one physical activity that you’ve always wanted to do? My list is a little long.
What’s one fear when you socialize or date someone with a disability?
f you had my disability what would be the one thing that scares you?
I hope this made you laugh, or at the very least give you something to think about. Do you have any questions for me? That you want me to answer in a blog? See you next time. Have a great day.
Disability Limbo Newsletter
I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters
Salutations and best wishes I look forward to our time together. After a few months of hiatus, I decided to relaunch my blog and website. I know some of you probably wondered if I died. I can assure you I am very much alive and I feel better than ever. Just like this website I took a few months and redesigned myself. I invite you all to please click around and check out all the features. I know there isn’t much but all the important stuff is there. I’m going to use my life as an example but I don’t want this to be a blog about “Kevin and his disability” I want to focus on the human experience and help others grow spiritually and mentally. The world is tough enough as it is I hope for a few minutes every week, I can take you out of it. to find a little extra something.
"Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house."' Matthew 5:15 NIV
For all my new followers here is a quick synopsis of who I am. My name is Kevin G. Nuñez. At the moment of this writing, I am 3/4 of the way to my 35th birthday. That sounds weird to say, worse to stop and think about. I want my writing style to come across as a conversation between friends. I want to talk with you as the reader not talk at you. I was born and diagnosed with a developmental disability Cerebral Palsy. It is a neurological condition That affects the spinal cord in the brain. The single gets sent from the brain down my spinal canal but somewhere along the line, there’s a disconnect. Turn a key in a car, but it dies at the point of ignition. This is the best conversion I can make. I’ve been privileged to serve on various committees on both the state and national levels to ensure the rights of all people and families affected by disability. Before you ask I have not been paid for the representation I have done to this point. Not all labor should be done for financial gain. If you want more information on this aspect of my life please check out my advocacy resume on the about me page.
Doing the same activity over and over expecting different results Is the definition of Insanity. So, What makes this website different than other blogs? To start with I have changed the name. It always irritated me to have my name on the website. I couldn’t think of any other names. I know the URL is the same but that’s only for lack of funds. I want to focus on the quality of blogs instead of quantity. There was a time when I was publishing two blog posts a week, a podcast episode, and publishing my first book all at once! By the time the book was posted on Amazon for purchase in July I was creatively exhausted. This time I will be posting only once a week on Wednesdays for 26 weeks out of the 52 week year. from March 2022 To March 2023. I’m still going to be writing every day I’m currently working on a follow-up to my book.
I will periodically drop book excerpts. In addition, I have all my original posts from the last website. So there will be plenty of content throughout the entire year. A steak is always better than a hamburger, right?
Each post will focus on a different aspect of disability life and spirituality. challenges in life are not always bad, sometimes we need them to persevere in our circumstances. the disability community is still second-class citizenship. I hope we can change this by starting a dialogue after each post. I welcome all comments and feedback. If you guys want me to cover a specific topic please let me know. I can’t wait for our next conversation.
Disability Limbo Newsletter
I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters
The Advocacy Life Podcast & Blog 