An Interabled Love Story Part 1

Happy Wednesday wonderful friends. I’ve been a blogger for a few years now, but people don’t know it because I relaunched my website in March of 2022. As part of that relaunch, I wanted to focus on sharing the stories of other disabled content creators.  I recently had a chance to catch up with Margaret and Charlie two very good friends of mine. I can’t wait to share the latest interview I had with them but before I do It’s important to reintroduce their story to all my new followers. Below is the first interview I have with them back in the spring of 2020. You can read more about the story on their blog Just interabled Things. Come back next week to learn more about their story.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬7 NIV

  Margaret and Charlie are an interabled couple from New York.  For those of you who don’t know “Interabled” is the term used when one of the partners in the relationship has some sort of disability and the other is “normal.” Charlie is diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy like me. In some ways, the disability community can be very small Charlie and I started networking after I discovered his blog with Margaret. Anyone who knows me would tell you that I’m not the kind of guy who falls for sappy love stories. I can’t tell you the last romantic comedy I sat down to watch. They are usually reserved for background noise. The reason I fell in love with their story was simply that it was real and not Hollywood fiction. They provide hope for those of us in the disability community on a very taboo topic, disability, and love. Thank you to Margaret and Charlie for participating in this blog. I hope we can all learn something from it. Love Is Love.

Please tell all of us how you met.

    – We met on an app called Hinge. I (Margaret) had joined Hinge on Sunday and wasn’t sure if I was going to keep the app for long because I was never a fan of the whole online dating thing. Monday morning I checked my phone at work and saw a message from Charlie and we spent the whole day talking. 

What first attracted you to each other?

    — Margret: I fell in love with Charlie’s smile. If I am being honest, I still fall for his smile every day. 

    — Charlie: My disability was not the first conversation we had. Margaret wanted to know who I was other than my disability.

Name one annoying habit about the other that you would not change.

    – Margaret: Charlie likes to sleep impossibly close to me, but I honestly can’t imagine not sleeping, literally holding each other. 

    — Charlie: I was never a person who naps. Margaret loves her naps and I now love them, all thanks to her.

How do you know it was love and not just some passing fling?

    – Margaret: The second time we FaceTimed, we sat there for almost 6 hours talking. We never ran out of things to talk about and the conversation just felt natural.

    — Charlie: I don’t want to be cliche but I am going to anyway, it was when I woke up the second day after we matched and she was still there.

What would you tell someone starting an interabled relationship?

    – Margaret: Keep an open mind, do not let their disability scare you off, and don’t be afraid to ask them questions about what they need help with. It is not for everyone, not everyone is meant to date someone with a disability, and society is not ready for it either so you will get looked at, you will get asked if you’re their aid or their sibling even and people will stare, just let them.

    — Charlie: Come in with an open mind, get to know them more than their disability but realize that their disability is still a part of who they are.

Some people would say that people with a disability should only date other people with disabilities because only they will understand. How do you respond to that?

    — Margaret: I would say that you don’t need to have a disability to completely understand if you are able to put yourself in their shoes. 

    — Charlie: I personally wouldn’t date another person with a disability, we would both need help that we couldn’t give each other.

There is a misconception that Margaret must have sacrificed everything to be with Charlie. What do you think about that?

    – Margaret: It is definitely a misconception. There really isn’t anything that I have had to sacrifice to be with Charlie. The only thing really is that when we are getting ready for the day or to go somewhere it takes longer because I have to get Charlie ready and get myself ready, but we have gotten it down to a system and it does not even take that long anymore, especially our weekday mornings when I have work.

Is being Charlie’s main caregiver a burden?

    – Margaret: I would say no. The caregiving aspects of our relationship to me are just more things for us to do together. Being in an interabled relationship brings a whole new level of intimacy to the relationship.

I apologize for this question, you guys do NOT have to answer it. I’m just asking it because I know someone will ask it. It is Nobody’s Business. I would never ask a stranger but I wanted my blog to be real. Can you have sex and are you both satisfied?

 Both   – Yes and yes, that’s as detailed as that’ll ever get, I get people being curious but our sex life is just for us.

What do you guys see yourselves in the next 5 years?

Both — I would say that we want to be living in a different state, be married, and have a few dogs.