The Advocacy Life Podcast & Blog

Tag: Commentary on Society

  • The Political Pizza Fight

    The Political Pizza Fight

    Do you want anything on your pizza? What toppings do you want on your pizza? What toppings do you not want on your pizza? Let’s assume you’re hosting a party for 10 people, and everyone wants pizza. A typical pizza usually has eight slices. Some people want pineapple, others want meat lovers, a few only eat vegetables on their pizza, and one person will only eat plain pizza. How do you raise money for the needed second pizza? Is it fair to ask people to pay for a pizza they are not planning to eat? Do you vote, and does the majority get what they want? What about everyone else? Should they go hungry? This crude scenario is an illustration of politics.

    “The art or science concerned with guiding or influencing governmental policy.” -Merriam-Webster dictionary

    Disability is a great way to understand politics. Politics will affect you at some point in your life, and so will disability. An Inconvenient truth is that these two are linked. How much should a wheelchair cost? How much should a person be allowed to make to maintain their Medicaid eligibility? At some point, everyone uses a Walker or a wheelchair. If your loved one requires any sort of extensive rehab or care, they will need Medicaid. One in three children in New Jersey receives some sort of Medicaid benefit. There is an illusion that disability will only affect the elderly or those diagnosed early in life. Disability can affect anyone at any time. 16-year-olds can have brain aneurysms and be changed forever. Eric LeGrand was only 20 years old when he became paralyzed on a football field.

    Mark 12:31 NIV  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

    Disability must be part of the political discussion when children are taught civics in their social studies classrooms. Disability is a great representation of the human race. It goes beyond political parties. Don’t be so focused on the toppings on your slice of pizza that you forget about all those who need to eat from the same pie. In America, we all eat from the same pie. Political parties are not sports teams. Winning the White House should never feel like winning a World Series; it should feel like a new chapter in the great book of American history. Political parties play a vital role in the political process. However, over-reliance is dangerous. Our elected officials must always remember that they serve their constituents and not their parties. The American people must vote to hold those who are elected accountable. Casting a vote is not a decision that should be made lightly.

    “Alternate domination” of one party over another, and the associated desire for revenge, could lead to horrible atrocities and ultimately, a “frightful despotism”- George Washington.

    We need new disability advocates to enter the political arena and provide a fresh perspective. To remind all of us what the ideals of America should be. Disabled Americans are Republicans. Disabled Americans are Democrats. By getting a new perspective, Americans can see their boundless potential.

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  • Misunderstanding Words

    Misunderstanding Words

    “Dude, your car is awesome!” “This pizza is awful, I’m never ordering from here again!”

    If those sentences sound normal to you, think again. The words “awesome” and “awful” both come from the same root—meaning something overwhelming or filled with awe. Yet one now means something great, and the other, something terrible.

    Words change over time. But sometimes, we don’t realize how much meaning they still carry. Take “idiot” or “insane.” These words used to be medical terms used to describe people with mental disabilities. Even the New Jersey Constitution once said that “no idiot or insane person” could vote. Thankfully, that language was removed in the early 2000s. Still, words like these show how language can be harmful, even if we don’t mean it to be.I want to invite you to explore how the words we use can shape how we treat each other—especially people with disabilities.

    This might sound like just a matter of “political correctness” or semantics, but it’s more than that. Think about how some slurs are still used jokingly among friends but would be completely unacceptable from someone outside that group. Language isn’t just about words—it’s about context, history, and tone.

    Let me give you a real example. One night, I was out with friends. During our conversation, someone casually used the R-word. I cringed inside. No one meant any harm, but it still hit me hard. I didn’t want to turn the night into a lesson or make a scene. So, when the evening ended, I quietly pulled that person aside and explained why the word was offensive. They apologized, and that was it. No drama, no lecture—just an honest moment of learning.

    Being an advocate doesn’t mean I can’t have fun. It means choosing how and when to speak up, and doing it in a way that encourages understanding—not shame.

    Today, we talk a lot about acceptance, but we also need to practice tolerance. People will make mistakes. They’ll say the wrong thing. That doesn’t mean they deserve to be “canceled” or shut out forever. Words are tools. They can hurt, but they can also heal, build, and inspire change.

    A few years ago, comedian Kevin Hart made a joke about parenting that upset many people. Years later, it cost him a chance to host the Oscars. If we’re going to judge everyone by their past mistakes, we’ll never grow or forgive. We need to teach, not just punish.

    In the end, language is like comedy—it’s all about delivery. It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. Tone matters. Audience matters. Communication isn’t one-size-fits-all. We all make mistakes, but we can learn and do better.

    Thank you for reading. I hope this makes you think more deeply about the words you use—and how we can all become more mindful of the messages we send.

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  • The Disability Life Podcast Episode

    The Disability Life Podcast Episode

    In this second episode of season 3. Kevin analyzes the importance of embracing the struggle of this disabled life so he can prosper for a better future. If you found this content engaging, please click the like, share, and subscribe. Tell your friends only together can we make a difference.

  • Disability Misconceptions

    Disability Misconceptions

    Every now and then, I get frustrated—not because I’m angry at individuals, but because there’s still so much misunderstanding about disability. What seems straightforward to me often isn’t to others. So, instead of stewing about it, I’ve decided to put together a list of things that I hope will help educate and shift perspectives.

    Luke 6:31 NIV 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

    1. Not All Disabilities Are the Same

    We say “everyone is different,” yet so often people treat disability like a one-size-fits-all label. You could line up ten people with the same medical diagnosis, and each one would be affected in a completely different way. Needs, goals, and abilities vary from person to person. What someone can or can’t do depends on a mix of their individual abilities, the support they receive, and the resources available to them.

    2. We’re Not Here to Inspire You—Just to Be Your Equal

    It shouldn’t be “inspirational” just to see someone with a disability walking down the street. And yet, when we live independently—with the right support—people often question it. Why? We’re just living our lives like anyone else. We want to be treated as equals, not exceptions.

    3. Be Flexible

    Life doesn’t always go to plan for anyone—and that includes those of us with disabilities. Flexibility, patience, and understanding go a long way when you interact with us. A rigid mindset helps no one.

    4. Hollywood Gets It Wrong—A Lot

    Movies often miss the mark when it comes to portraying disability. Sure, actors like Tom Hanks and Cuba Gooding Jr. have received awards for their roles, but their performances don’t always reflect reality. Times have changed, and so have our perspectives. It’s important to remember that what you see on screen is entertainment—not education.

    5. Ask Questions—Just Be Respectful

    Curiosity is fine. But respect is essential. If it’s something you wouldn’t want to be asked or called, don’t say it to someone else—disability or not.

    6. Disability Doesn’t Discriminate

    It doesn’t care about your skin color, background, or bank account. Anyone can be affected. And just because something is written in a study online doesn’t mean it reflects the lived reality of everyone.

    7. We Get Tired Too

    Yes, everyone gets tired. But for many people with disabilities, there’s no “clocking out” at the end of the day. The challenges don’t stop at 5 p.m. Sometimes you just don’t want to use the wheelchair or the communication device. And speaking of that—imagine how exhausting it is trying to communicate when you can’t speak.

    8. Laugh With Us, Not At Us

    Humor is powerful—and we love to laugh! But make sure you’re laughing with us, not at us. That small shift makes all the difference.

    9. Don’t Pity Us—Just See Us

    We know life isn’t easy. But we’re doing our best, just like you are. We don’t need pity. We need understanding, support, and a fair shot.

    I know this list isn’t revolutionary, and it might not be the most eloquent thing you’ll ever read. But I’ve kept it simple for a reason: clarity helps change hearts. Maybe someone will print this out and stick it on the fridge. Maybe the next time they meet someone with a disability, they’ll see the person—not just the label.

    Thanks for reading. Be kind. Be curious. Be human. Good night, friends.

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  • Playing Games

    Playing Games

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  • For the Love of America

    For the Love of America

    I am a political nerd. I like to watch C-SPAN when I can. This week I knew something special was going to happen. In case you missed it, New Jersey Senator Cory Booker was on the Senate floor for over 25 hours. The man did not stop speaking. He did not sit down unless he was asked a question. He answered the question despite that, he did not sit down! Most Americans feel unheard by their elected officials. Many of the senator’s words were reading letters from his constituents to protect Medicaid. The Medicaid program is not healthcare, it is a lifeline for millions of Americans. Senator Booker, thank you for hearing us.

    I still don’t understand how cutting 880 billion dollars over 10 years is the best path forward for America. Are The prices of eggs going to go down? One in three children who use these benefits are they going to be okay? So many counties nationwide use the Meals on Wheels program to feed older adults. Can local municipalities be ready to pick up the cost? Can they even do so? Yes, the American way of life is expensive, but we cannot save costs at the expense of the most vulnerable. Individuals with disabilities are so strong they need the right support and the opportunities to show it.

    1 Corinthians 3:10 NIV By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care.

    I understand and will fully admit that the government can be way too big. I’m a capitalist through and through. This website is where I sell my books and other works. Americans do need more money in their pocket, but this is not how to do it. When a doctor takes a sample for a biopsy, they use a scalpel, not a hacksaw! If you are going to switch to a new mode of operation, then give people a chance to learn so they can follow it. This week, Secretary Kennedy and President Trump cut a lot of positions from the Department of Human Services. That is a prerogative. What’s wrong is how they do it. Depending on the position, they’re not offered a severance package. You cannot build America without its people.

    Is there a formula that decides what jobs are needed and what jobs are not? Are these decisions being made by artificial intelligence? How do you value an American life? I want the best for vongressional representatives, senators, and president Trump. I want the best for the American people. America will not be the best if we leave others behind. The next building, a strong future, means using all Americans.

    Senator Booker gave us a call to action. A lot of us cannot go, march in Washington, DC. I have another idea post video of your day post them all over social media. Show yourself getting out of bed with twheelsgiver. show yourself with your husband or wife going to the store. If you deliver Meals on Wheels, then take a picture with the person you gave the food to. Let those in power see the smiles on our faces. Help them remember that brief moment also built America. America is more than money. America is neighbors helping each other. America is everyone doing the part. America is alive. Either we all thrive or we will not survive. Thank you for your time.

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  • Comfortably undesirable

    Comfortably undesirable

    I was going to write another blog this week about protecting the rights of individuals with disabilities, but then I realized that this kind of blog also has to be shared because we also have the right as human beings to be loved and to be seen as sexual beings. As long as both individuals can consent and can fully comprehend what a relationship and or sexual encounter entails. Individuals with significant physical disabilities are discouraged from seeking any kind of romantic relationship. In movies and TV, they never show us in a realistic relationship scenario. We are saved for the “inspirational movie.” we are never seen going past a gentle kiss or a cute moment.

    As an individual with a disability, I have grown comfortable with my “different body.” However, in reality, it’s not different at all. I was born with ten fingers and ten toes—two legs and two arms—and most importantly, a heart. Over the years, I’ve learned that my disability can make me feel undesirable to the opposite sex. I can confidently speak in front of legislators and lobbyists, and I can maintain my balance, but the thought of talking to a woman instantly makes me sweat. Why is this?

    I don’t want this to be a “woe is me” narrative; rather, it’s a wake-up call to society regarding the choices they have made. Society often excludes us from love and relationships. We are not just children; we grow up to be adults, too.

    1 Corinthians 13:5-7 NIV It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    Cartoon illustration of blind love or heart holding a cane

    Growing up, I looked up to physical specimens like Hulk Hogan and The Rock. However, none of them looked like me. As an adult, I noticed that the main character in “Fifty Shades of Grey” is a 6-foot-tall, muscular, very masculine man. When will people with disabilities be portrayed beyond their limitations? I believe that, at some point, they will remake “Basic Instinct.” Why not cast someone with a disability in those provocative scenes? In Hollywood, they now employ intimacy coaches to ensure that everyone feels safe during intimate moments.

    We know that the adult film industry is rife with human trafficking and abuse, including victims with disabilities, yet it often goes unnoticed. Our voices matter; our lives matter. I recognize that some men can be terrible. Women are frequently exposed to situations that allow them to be taken advantage of. The good guys tend to hesitate to approach women for fear of being perceived as a threat. By 2025, I’m sure every woman with a cell phone over a certain age will have received inappropriate pictures. As a result, women constantly keep their guard up. If a woman wants to be treated differently by a partner, she should seek a different kind of partner!

    If you search social media, you will likely find relationships where one person is paralyzed. I believe these relationships tend to be more socially acceptable because they were once considered “normal,” and there is a prevailing belief that those with such disabilities can do more for themselves. The concept of a disability hierarchy is another system designed to divide us. A human is a human; we all need love!

    I know I’ve covered a lot in this short blog, but that’s intentional. I want to encourage people to start having difficult conversations and become comfortable with being uncomfortable. By doing so, you will gain a better understanding of what it’s like to live with a disability.

  • My Big Bang Problem

    My Big Bang Problem

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  • Life and Time

    Life and Time

    Happy Wednesday, my dear friend. I want to begin this blog by saying thank you for your time. Time is such a strange gift, isn’t it? We can’t keep it. We can’t make more of it. We can only lose it, waste it, or make the most of it. When you have a disability like mine. Time seems to go slower. There’s no spontaneity in my life. Either I or someone else must plan every detail. Some days I feel like a tree is growing but not moving. This is not the ideal life, but I am so thankful for it.

    Click Here to Read the Rest: Life and Time

    Some people look at my life and think it must be a living hell. Once, I was walking through a mall. A father saw me look at his child and said, ‘’Thank God you’re not like them.” Referring to my brother and me, the tree grows vertically in the same way the spirit should. I remember feeling bad for this man. Yes, my pride was hurt. The comment was rude. I was wondering how you spent his time. Worrying and being scared. life has its own rhythms and seasons that we can’t possibly comprehend or control fully.

    ‭John 12:8 NIV “You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.”

    It’s easy to look past the tree because it doesn’t move; it just sits there. Sorry, I had to make myself laugh. it would be wonderful for me to always want to blog about all the things I’ve done and places I’ve gone. Those agreed memories and wonderful experiences, but that’s not my daily reality. Most days I’m in front of my tablet or laptop, making Zoom calls. I make sure my calendar is up-to-date. Everyone wants to live a life that is full of joy and great memories That’s a wonderful goal, but it’s not going to happen every day.

    I always get a little offended when someone says they’re bored. For those of us in the Western Hemisphere of the world, we have so many options for what to do with our time. I know that sounds foolish, but you don’t have to work wherever you work. You don’t have to pay your bills. Yes, there are consequences if you don’t. However, there are plenty of people content to live off the grid and off the land. There are people who make plenty of money at home playing video games. To become a doctor, you have to spend 8 years of your life in medical school.

    There are people who spend hours a week in chairs receiving chemotherapy. There are people who are spending their time behind bars. I know the local news has moved on, but there is still a war going on in Ukraine. You may be tired of scrolling through TikTok, but don’t forget about those who have become refugees to avoid bombings in Israel and Gaza. Life and time are about perspective. We have all felt like trees Once in a while, remember that the figure gives life. Without their oxygen, we can’t live, and without our carbon monoxide, they can live. Your life may not be perfect. Sorry to tell you this; it’s never going to be. You can be aware of how you spend your life and your time. As always, thanks for your time. See you next week!

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  • Passing the Baton

    Passing the Baton

    My legs were burning when I went to bed the other night, but I was content despite having a sore back. I was on my laptop or tablet from 11:00 in the morning until 11:30 at night. My brother asked several times, “Are you done yet? Where is your finish line? Something has to be said so someone else can finish the job that people before me started. I must issue a favorable warning before continuing. I might make some unjust comparisons in the course of this writing. It is not to offend anyone; it is simply an illustration point. 

    ‭Philippians 3:13-14 NIV‬ “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

    The work I do to advocate for those with disabilities is not for me; it’s for someone in the next generation. So they don’t have to fear society and not be seen as equal by their peers, whether they have a disability or not. People don’t want to admit this, but there are people out there who want people with disabilities dead after a certain age. After they stop being cute, we need a social movement to make it okay for people with disabilities to live and thrive in their communities. Home and Community-Based Services (HCBS) is a great concept and it will lead to system change eventually. Parents of a disabled child should never have to fear the day they can no longer be there for their child. Working with those who are the most vulnerable cannot be seen as a dead-end job. It needs to be seen as a fulfilling career. To use an antiquated term, this has to stop being ‘pink-collar work.’

    Speaking of work, those of us who should be working should be offered better jobs than greeters at Walmart or in the back of a restaurant washing dishes. Do our hands have to shake when we hand our resumes to a potential employer? The first concern of an employer should never be, “How much is it going to cost to accommodate you to work here? We have to stop being inspirational just for going to college. I know so many individuals who have finished their college degree but cannot find meaningful employment because they need their health benefits.

    FDR
    "In these days of difficulty, we Americans everywhere must and shall choose the path of social justice—the path of faith, the path of hope, and the path of love toward our fellow man."

    The LGBTQ+ community fought for several years to have marriage equality. I am sorry to say this but we still don’t have marriage equality because people with disabilities are still penalized for wanting to get married. I feel like there is a false illusion that if people with disabilities had children, it would be more of a burden on our society to take care of them. Most disabled parents are more loving and caring than able-bodied parents. Yes, they will need more support but that means more jobs and more opportunities for people to see us as part of their local communities. People like me who look different should not be ashamed to be on a dating app. People don’t understand what it’s like to be afraid to talk to a pretty girl. Imagine what it would be like not being able to talk at all to that same girl.

    People with disabilities are currently in financial and social slavery! Brad Lomax and Judith Heumann did their part. A generation later, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was a gigantic step forward. As a community, we need to come together and stop letting society divide us.

    I will continue to work with the system so that one day someone can either emotionally, mentally, or physically stand up for others. I’m proud to be a nobody. My name will not go down in history books. I work so that one day someone can get married without fear. I work so a mother will not have to cry when they have to hand over the care of their child to someone else. I work so that one day someone you know using a wheelchair will not be seen as an inspiration when they are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. This may not make sense to a lot of people, but one day it will.

    Disability does not care what color you are on the outside. Your sexual orientation is of no consequence. Your political views are irrelevant to people with disabilities. The disability is just part of the person, not the whole person. I know I said all this before on other blogs. I probably sound like a broken record. I’ve never asked my small audience for anything, but I asked that you please share this with someone who has no concept of disability. To someone who thinks we are less than. We are not lost. We are the ones who are strong because we value life, cherish our blessings, and take advantage of the opportunities we’ve been given. We might be broken on the outside, but some are even broken on the inside. we understand that our lives have meaning. Sometimes it’s better to have a life of struggle with a great ending than to have a life without knowing or wanting the destination because you’re searching for the illusion of perfection.

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