I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters
Gender, sexual orientation, and ethnicity are all labels society tries to put on us. In this episode, I’m trying to help us see the whole person. The human experience cannot be confined to one category. Please join me for a thoughtful conversation All opinions are my own. My work for this episode is based on the blog below. Please subscribe for bonus content.
Happy Wednesday friends, as always I hope this week’s message finds you well. We get so busy in this world with our schedules and obligations. We don’t make time to sit and reflect on our lives and where it’s headed. It is for that purpose I created this new series where I leave you with a series of questions for you to ponder. The theme for this week is, “the importance of listening.” In the comments please let me know what you think of this idea. I wanted to create awareness for our spiritual and mental growth. Thank you all for reading enjoy the rest of your day.
To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.
Proverbs 18:13 NIV
When your friend calls you, do you talk more than you listen?
At a restaurant when the waiter comes over, do you wait to listen for the specials, or do you just tell them to order?
In a job interview who should speak first, the employer or the prospective employee?
Do you notice your eyes rolling when you’re annoyed by comments?
Are you aware of others’ body language?
When you sit down on the airplane, do you listen to the safety demonstration? I hope we all know with you if God forbid the plane goes down.
Are you comfortable around older adults? Their advice might be important someday.
Do you take your hearing for granted?
When you pray do you listen for God’s response?
Do you know the difference between hearing and listening?
Disability Limbo Newsletter
I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters
It has become an overused trope. millennials are lazy job hopers who have no patience for work or tolerance for bosses telling them what to do. Well for some at least part of this trope is true there is scant evidence if any that today’s young people deserve the scathing indictment some are ready to give them.
The world is not like it was when our parents and grandparents were young. There is no war in which the whole world is involved at the same time, taking sides for and against each other. There is no draft. At the moment there are smaller regional wars that are largely being taken care of by concerned regional partners without direct US military involvement. That could change at any time but for now, that part hasn’t changed. I firmly believe right after 9/11 had president Bush declared WW3 and instituted a draft America would have gone along with it. His clarion call during that time was to go shopping. I’m not saying that the military hasn’t made enormous sacrifices but largely the sacrifices are theirs and their families alone while the rest of us just go about our day as ordinary Americans only aware of the extraordinary sacrifices others make when it comes to our phones and television screens.
In a way, we are better off than we were at the time of WW2 because our army is an all-volunteer army but it has also created a situation where the serious problems of the world are always taken care of by other people. Even from a street-level perspective when we see a fight or a rape in progress we go, “that’s sad.” and hope somebody else calls 911. “I’ve got to get to work, ta ta for now.”
I swear we have one side of a recent generation that is every man or woman for themselves and there’s another side genuinely trying to make things better for not only themselves but other people. Unions are fighting for better wages, health benefits, and for our current generation not to be on call with our bosses 24/7 as we hold our baby in our hands and make dinner for our families with our free hand.
To be clear, people can do this but people shouldn’t have to. We want to be able to go to the doctor without being fired from our jobs or being forced into economic disaster. If recent times have proven anything it’s that the vast majority of the world is more resilient than we give ourselves credit for not only as Americans but I genuinely believe as a world. So as the old question goes, “Will the kids be okay?” The short answer, I believe is yes. We must also remember that the adults in every modern generation have said that the following one will be far worse off because of their ineptitude. At this point, that prediction is as old as time itself. With my optimism noted, there are things we can do to make the world a better place without having to move mountains.
We have to make deliberate attempts to care more about each other. We should recognize that just because Ryan pulls Susie’s hair on the playground doesn’t mean Ryan will be an irredeemable serial killer for the rest of his life. Men and women evolve their political views change, groups don’t think monolithically and We would be better off if we didn’t treat someone’s political affiliations or views as if it were a sports team we must be with no matter what. Oh, and while we are at it can we stop using the terms fake news or alternative facts.
It is already difficult to navigate our changing world without one’s views being willing to accept new and emerging facts. We must also recognize cult behavior when it comes to our politics. One man or one woman alone can’t fix the problems that ale America and the world despite what anyone says. Real problems require thinking outside the box and coalition building even when embracing the concept is outside our interests. The concept of acting in the interest of the common good must be re-established and vigorously defended from age to age like it once was. There is no one size fits all solution to what troubles the world but I believe what I’ve written here is a good start toward improving the large canvas that is our collective souls.
There are some days in life you can never forget no matter how hard you try. We are a few days removed from the anniversary of September 11th, 2001 I was in my 8th-grade social studies class when the announcement came over the loudspeakers about the horrific attacks unfolding at the World Trade Center. What would those who died that day think about the world of the living now?
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4 NIV
I remember feeling hurt, Confused, and angry. On that day race and religion did not matter, we were all proud to be Americans. No one ever thought about kneeling for the national anthem. Political affiliations meant nothing. 21 years later and the country is more divided than ever. We stopped listening to each other. We don’t value each other anymore. Think about this, when people lined up to donate blood it didn’t matter what color they were on the outside because they all bleed red on the inside.
The president is just one man, we cannot blame all the country’s problems on him. It should not matter who voted for him but we should respect him as a person because every person deserves to be respected. You can disagree with someone without having them be racist or a socialist. Over 3,000 people died in one day. We cannot forget what they died for. We are all given the right to protest, not to destroy each other. That is what we are doing. September 11th, 2001 is not about conspiracies or social agendas. Is about honoring our neighbors who made the ultimate sacrifice so we can unite as a country and as a people. It’s sad to think that over 20 years later we still have not learned that lesson.
What makes a person who they are? Is it their spirituality, is it their sexual orientation, is it their ethnicity, is it their disability, or whatever other condition they are diagnosed with? Everyone I know is on medication for some illness. Doctors love to diagnose what is wrong with us. Did you ever notice that we give them a jump start before we even walk into the office? Every time you go into a medical facility we have to put a checkmark next to boxes so they can classify us. The problem with this line of thinking is that the essence of a human being does not fit in the box. Please try something at this moment, draw a heart on a piece of paper. Now draw a box around the heart you just made. It doesn’t work, does it? Sure you can make it work, but you know it still doesn’t look natural.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Romans 12:2 NIV
According to the boxes of this world, I am a disabled, Christian, Hispanic heterosexual male. These categories all describe me correctly with one major exception, they don’t take into account how I see myself. If I don’t respect and acknowledge myself As Kevin the complete person then I cannot expect anyone else to do the same. Labels try to control us and we get so attached to them some people stop at nothing to defend them. When are we going to realize there’s more to this world? It’s something we all know, we just don’t want to accept it because our lives would become much more complicated. I know some of you out there are saying “My life is already messed up enough, I can’t afford to complicate it anymore.”
My dear friends, That is precise to the point labels are distractions not complications. Nobody is just one of these treats we are all an intersection of a thousand little things we need to step back and see the whole person. Don’t get too lost in the pieces of the puzzle you forget to look at the laptop. This world is ugly because people refuse to see the beauty in it. I hope these words helped you take a deep breath before moving on me today. May the blessings come down upon you I will see you next week.
Disability Limbo Newsletter
I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters
I want to start this post with this thought, some of you may not agree with me at all, but I think it speaks to the greater point. Everyone praises the freedom of speech granted to us by the first amendment of the US Constitution. I use it every time I click publish on one of these blog posts. I know there are people out there who don’t like what I have to say, and that is perfectly fine with me. These freedoms are guaranteed for all American people, not just the ones that agree with you. For the record, I did not vote for former President Donald Trump, but I believe it was wrong to have his Twitter account removed. We both have the same freedoms.
Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:4-6 NIV
Everything is being canceled! from Dr. Seuss to Mr. Potatohead. Everything is offensive to someone else. Do we need to learn to communicate telepathically? This way we can get rid of all social media platforms and no one would get offended. There’s something I don’t understand, if we live in a Democratic Republic government where everyone gets a vote, then why are individuals being censored for their thoughts and ideas as if we lived in a socialist government? So many people have been put in Facebook Jail” because some algorithms do not agree with the post. Their freedom of speech was suspended without due process. That doesn’t sound very American to me. Cancel Culture is not a movement it is a cancer-killing the American dream.
I think we’re living in the early days of the actual life of Hunger Games. For those of you who live under a rock. The Hunger Games is a series of novels and movies where a young lady leads the rebellion against a totalitarian government in a dystopian future. In the movie’s surprise ending the protagonist kills The president of the new rebellion after learning she was planning to enact some of the same policies as the old regime, ensuring that everything would truly start fresh. I’m not saying that we should all go practice our archery skills in case we get called to represent our districts, but things are occurring that I feel we should be worried about. I do not mean this to be a political blog and I am bipartisan all the way. I love this country with all my heart. Someone like me could thrive nowhere else. Everyone picks on Jeff Bezos because he’s a multi-billionaire, but thanks to Amazon I was able to publish my first book and have it shipped all around the world. Yes, they take a percentage of my profits but how long would it take someone with my disability to print just one book? It is not a question of convenience it is a matter of accessibility.
America does not have the best past, but if we erase it all then how are future generations supposed to learn from it. Education is how we stop Ignorance, bigotry, and hate. If you spill a glass of milk, throwing out the milk carton does not get rid of the smell that was left by it. Only cleaning it up can do that.
Why would you waste the milk that was still left in the carton? Just like black history needs to be taught in school, so should disability history. Children should know why the N-word is wrong. They should also learn why the R-word is wrong. Disability doesn’t care what color you are on the outside. It can be the ultimate equalizer.
So don’t take down statues of Confederate soldiers, take the children to see them and tell them what was wrong. Then take them to the Institutions and let them hear the stories of those who were abused and still are being abused. We all need to learn real tolerance and appreciation for someone’s struggles, not just appeasement. It’s okay to disagree, it doesn’t make the other person “the bad guy.” We all deserve dignity and respect. Ask any singer or actor. There will always be hate and ignorance in this world that does not mean we have to lose respect for others On a purely human level. May God bless you and enjoy the rest of your week.
Disability Limbo Newsletter
I started Letters from the Limbo as a way to connect with you on a deeper level. Twice a month, I send out an email filled with personal anecdotes, professional updates (like my recent reelection as Vice Chair of the NJCDD), and the policy insights I don’t share anywhere else. This isn’t just another email—it’s an unfiltered look at the life of a disability advocate. Join my community and get an exclusive, honest look at the work that matters
The Advocacy Life Podcast & Blog 